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Sunday, September 26, 2004

Pyrat XO Reserve - The Greatest Damn Rum on the PLANET!

Both gigs I had to day were great! I got some time in the sun. I made many people happy. I got PAID! Seemed like a good night to crack open one of my stash of Pyrat XO Reserve!

Greg the bartender at the Rum Jungle in Las Vegas got me turned on to this stuff a couple of years back and I have been crazed for it ever since. I have a rule in the house: I will ALWAYS have at least one sealed bottle in reserve before considering opening up a bottle. I NEVER want to be without the stuff so long as I live, it is THAT GOOD!

Seriously, if you have EVER done anything good in your life, you OWE it to yourself to have a straight snifter of Pyrat XO Reserve in your glass. If something were to happen to me where I couldn't have the stuff any more I'd probably off myself without hesitation.

Some people even consider mixing this rum with ...other ingredients! Seems like a waste of good rum to me, but go ahead and give it a whirl. It won't make your drink taste BAD.

In other news...Tomorrow at The Cheers, my review & commentary article about SEX BLOGS! I gave the most positive review of my favorite, Small Town Sex Blog. I hope you enjoy!

Aw, fuck all this crap! I want more RUM!!!

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Friday, September 24, 2004

FINALLY! Gorilla Porn is HERE!

I can't believe it took until the year 2004 for the world to finally answer life's burning question, "What would happen if a man wearing a gorilla suit and toting an 18 inch black dildo went to Mardi Gras?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...GorillaGras.com

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Saturday, September 18, 2004

Random Notes

We've got some yahoo posting to the Cheers Forum about wanting news satire stories. There are only about 3 posts in the entire forums section right now and two of them are about news satire. I like that we have at least ONE reader that is interested in our magazine enough to make a suggestion, but really, aren't there enough news satire places out there to keep you occupied?

Isn't The Onion the reigning king of this field? We have some good writers on staff at The Cheers, but we also have some LOUSY ones. I'm very confident that when someone finally does tackle the news satire it will be from one of our LOUSY contributors. Few things are worse than BAD SATIRE. I think this guy is actually one of the staffers trying to stir the pot a little.

I'm in the middle of a busy weekend of gigs and, of course, I have a fucking cold! It is hard enough trying to make geriatrics laugh without making their respirators freak out, but to try and do it with a swollen and sore throat is too much to take. I'm on so many damn cold medications right now I'm amazed there aren't more typos in this post.

Anyway, Monday has new issues of The Cheers and Eklektikos. With those new issues will come some new articles from yours truly.

The Cheers will feature a very funny article SATIRIZING the writing prompts sent out by Writer's Digest.

Eklektikos will be publishing an article about the O.J. Simpson verdict and why I didn't care one iota the bastard was acquitted.

I got an e-mail from MissyMae at Small Town Sex Blog! I'm so pleased. I'm still too chicken-shit to ask for a link exchange. Look for an article in The Cheers Sept. 27 about sex blogs.

More later. Must drain and medicate right now.

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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly - SEX BLOGS!

It is inevitable. You go online, you eventually look for porn. That trend carries into the blogging world. You start a blog, eventually you look for a sex blog.

Actually, sex blogs are finding me. I regularly check the updated blog list from Blogger and when I see a title of one that intrigues me I click on it and hope to find something interesting. Do I ALWAYS click on blogs that are quite obviously about sex? Well yeah, but that's NOT the point. The point is that sex blogs are something of an added bonus to becoming a blogger.

As with all blogs or the creating them you may or may not be getting the real story. You can be anyone online and nobody really seems to care if we're lied to so long as we're entertained.

Currently I am fascinated with the Small Town Sex Blog. I trust that this woman's tales and exploits (or lack thereof) are genuine, but wouldn't be surprised to find out that it is all bullshit. Regardless, I like the stories, the human drama involved...aw hell, I love hearing chicks that may or may not be hot talking dirty!

Having gone to a few different sex blogs I have to list this one as "The Good" because it seems so much more genuine and not just someone putting on a good show. Most sex blogs are either bad links to other sites or really horrible attempts at erotic literature. This blog is a great read and were I to be writing a sex blog I'd want it to be like this one. I'd love to ask this gal to do a link exchange but she seems to only be interested in other sex blogs so I will just sit and enjoy.

"The Bad" & "The Ugly" were made one the day I stumbled upon Lawrence's Ladies - Diary of a Porn Star. I'm not saying I wasn't entertained by this as it is too damn funny for words. Well, "funny" may not be the right word. How about "sad" instead? You'll check it out and see for yourself no doubt.

This horribly pale, poorly-tattooed guy won some sort of contest where he would get to BE a porn star for a day and maybe launch a new career. The catch? He must make it to the final pop-shot on film or suffer the consequence...get banged in the ass with a strap-on. At least its the hot porn chick doing the banging IF you fail to perform. That's still something, right?

How did it go? Well you can click on the video link at his blog - Oh wait! Let me just add this one HERE for ya.

I'm sure I'll find more fun stuff during my blogging career. I am still not quite certain why anyone would publish their sexual exploits for all the world to see. But then again, creating any sort of blog where you share a little or a lot of yourself is somewhat odd. I am sure that there are psyche students everywhere working on a thesis about this very thing.

Besides, who am I to talk? Check out this story I wrote for The Cheers about an experience I had after Prom Night called, "Hair of the Dog."

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