A Friendly Reminder: AndyMartello.com is BRAND NEW!
If you haven't been there in awhile for a visit, or if you have never been there at all, please make sure to check out my main website, andymartello.com.
I have always been proud of my website since it truly did attract a lot of customers and was always very popular. Unfortunately, it got a little stale (updates not withstanding) after about 2005, when it was 5 years old. More unfortunate is the fact that I had neither the time nor the money to do a total overhaul.
In 2011 that all changed and a newer, streamlined, ultra-hip andymartello.com was born!
Please be certain to check out The Ultra-Lounge of the Internet and refer me to anyone looking for the best in comedic entertainment.
AGENTS: You can use www.BookAndy.com when referring clients. No contact information of any kind is there and you'll be cashing a commission check in no time.
First night back for Sinsation The Show. Lucky me...I am the ONLY male cast member of this awesome comedy burlesque show this weekend. I know...my life is pretty tough.
Check out the Sinsation website to not only learn about the show (or buy tickets) this weekend at the Royal Resort, but to see just HOW lucky a man I am. ;)
I am very pleased to announce that Sinsation The Show is returning to Las Vegas in a new location. Of course, I am more pleased to say that I will be returning as their featured comedic/variety performer.
Sinsation is a most excellent comedy/burlesque show with music, comedy, beautiful dancers, and of course...yours truly!
You can watch me (OK, you'll probably be watching the girls) during the debut weekend at their new home, The Royal Resort, 99 Convention Center Drive (adjacent to the Strip) in Las Vegas. Don't miss the fun January 13, 14, & 15 at 7:30PM. For tickets please call 702-735-6617 or visit the Sinsation website.
If you take a look at the front page of the Marengo-Union Times this month you'll see a rather familiar face.
NO! Not the kids throwing snowballs! Under them...the guy who looks like me. See? That's me!
In a nice little piece of press from Betsy Wolfe Stemple you can read a lovely career overview and interview with yours truly. It is always nice to get a chance to let the home town crowd know what I'm up to these days and I'm very happy with the article. Who wouldn't like being" a Marengo Comedy Treasure", right?
If you'd like to read it you can head to the Marengo-Union Times website or simply click on the image below. If you like the piece be sure to go to their Facebook, Twitter, or Blogger pages and let them know.
If you opened the Rockford Register Star that morning you'd learn about my appearance at the Boone County Fair as part of the Reynolds Family Circus.
This represented just one of the many times I'd had an opportunity to work with these great friends but it was also something of a homecoming for me.
Years earlier I had won the Boone County Fair talent contest and this was the first time in a lot of years since I was able to return to the fair grounds and have some fun.
I was also able to visit many friends & teachers from high school, family members, my old home town—a lot of reminiscing was being done that week.
Aside from the newspaper article (click image for a larger view) I have included a few snapshots taken by my mother who was in the front row for a few shows.
She bore witness to the time I sliced my finger open while juggling sugar cane knives...and didn't even notice! I must have been one great master of manipulation and misdirection even then. There was rather a lot of blood. Oh well, that's showbiz.
Help Andy's Plate-Spinning Act Get Booked on Fox & Friends!
Steve Doocy was waxing nostalgic about plate-spinners on the Ed Sullivan Show recently. Imagine how quickly Fox & Friends received an email from me offering my services.
I think performing a segment with Doocy would be a great way for me to launch my "Get Plate-Spinning Week on Letterman" campaign, don't you? It could look something like this...
I NEED YOUR HELP! GET MY ACT ON FOX & FRIENDS AND EVENTUALLY...LETTERMAN!
As you know I am "The Last GREAT Plate-Spinner." I enjoy spinning plates for shows as well as in a corporate training seminars. I've spun plates on national television commercials. I've spun plates for major corporations. I've spun plates as the opening act for the wonderful Gladys Knight.
I recently did a search on You Tube for plate-spinners and it turns out that the 2nd most popular plate-spinning video happens to belong to yours truly! If enough people see this and share the link, perhaps we can change all that and make me #1. ;)
Here I am spinning plates on the WGN Morning News with comedian Anthony Anderson.
Watching that you can see that you don't have to be a professional plate-spinner to have fun at it. Keeping that in mind, here's my world famous PLATE SPINNING GAME from my soon-to-be-updated website.
Click to Play
This game was a viral hit long before there was such a thing. Within weeks of hitting the internet back in 2000, I was getting emails from people around the globe telling me how much fun they were having playing this silly game and how they were emailing the link to friends. This game made the office email circuit years before a You Tube or ANY talking baby videos!
Lastly, here's the aforementioned commercial I was in. This ad ran on nationally CNN, FOX News, & MSNBC and locally in specific Congressional Districts across the country. It landed me in the pages of the New Yoprk Times as well as several newspapers and magazines. It still draws a lot of attention, if not gives a great example as to just why anyone in the TV game gives ole Andy a call when they need top-quality plate-spinning talent!
Feel free to give me a call and book this plate-spinner for your next event. I'd be happy to do it for ya.
May 5, 1988, found my young and ugly mug featured in the pages of the Northwest Herald newspaper. Click image for larger view.
The interview was conducted in between a series of school shows and conducted/written by Kurt Begalka, who has interviewed me a number of times. I was 17 years old about to make it to 18 and eagerly awaiting results from my application to Ringling Bros. Clown College. I still use some of the jokes in here...and forgot about some good ones. Hmmm...
Among the cool things about this article:
I was issued a special pass from my principal to miss classes and take these paid gigs for the students of Zion Lutheran, Hawthorn, and Riley elementary schools
It details pretty well the "EUREKA moment" I had while trying to learn to juggle
While I'm not at all as famous as I'd promised in the piece, I am STILL WORKING!
Among the bad things:
What was up with my hair?
What was up with my costume?
Again...my hair?
This was a very nice article and I'm happy I still have a copy in the Andy Archives to share with you.
BREAKING NEWS: Andy Martello to Appear in NEW Variety Show, "Red Light" at the Rio Hotel & Casino!
What if the circus came to town …… the bad side of town ?
The red light district meets the big top in this sexy, edgy, circus-themed variety show.
RED LIGHT features dancers, acrobats, aerialists, jugglers, contortionists, magicians, and the most extreme sideshow acts ever seen (Including yours truly) !
75 minute show Sunday thru Thursday nights beginning Sept 5th Inside the Crown Theatre at the Rio All-Suite Resort and Casino Doors open at 7pm – Show starts at 8pm
Every seat is VIP! Tickets are $69 and $99 (includes open bar wristband)
Make Plans to Attend Market Street Festival May 1&2 in Columbus, Mississippi
Anyone near the greater Memphis/Tupelo area should know about the Market Street Festival in Columbus, MS. If not...learn something! It is a fabulous festival filled with food, music, and entertainment for all ages. Of course, this year's festival will certainly be that much better because I will be making a triumphant return.
School and media appearances (WCBI TV in Columbus) are happening throughout the area on Friday May 1, 2009
Shows on the Market Street Children's Stage are on Saturday May 2, 2009 at 11:00 AM and 2:00 PM
There will be plenty of souvenir Andy Martello Trading Cards available for all in attendance and I plan on having a great time bringing my act back to Mississippi (the only state I ever learned how to spell properly).
Please pass along the word and tell anyone you know in that neck of the woods to come out and see a great show.
I did not make much, if any mention of the death of George Carlin earlier this year. Mostly I kept mum about it because it was rather devastating to me. I never got to see him live, though we'd always made plans to do so. He was significant and influential in ways I'm all but certain I'll never be myself. He was a genius.
That being said, let me tell you about the show I'll be doing Tuesday night.
The Orleans was the last regular gig in Vegas that George Carlin had and he was there very frequently. I will be working in the same showroom as he used to work.
The table provided by the Orleans for me to use as a prop table on stage during the act is referred to by the tech crew as, "The George Carlin Table". There's not much special about this table other than it is on wheels and covered in a black skirt. I asked why it had such a name. Apparently it was either built for George or simply brought into the theatre for him at his request. He wanted to use that for all his shows or benefit programs for whatever reason and since he was about the only performer to use the table every time the crew just started referring to it as "The George Carlin Table". For this evening's performance I will be using the table to hold all of my juggling props. Therefore...
I find nothing more wonderful about the coincidental brilliance of this fact.
I am certain that if George were alive he would find this as amusing as I do. Whether or not he would consider my stuff to be shit...I cannot say. Of course he may be more happy to know that, essentially, my balls are on his table.
Here's a video of something I've been working on for the show I can't tell you much about. Since I have had nothing but blind faith that the move to Vegas would be the right thing to do and blind faith that the new act will be the reason Fate brought me here, it seems only fitting that a big part of the show will feature me blindfolded.
I've got an ad coming out in a free magazine that goes to several golf clubs/country clubs in the Vegas Valley. Great pricing on the ad and it runs for a full year in front of the people with the money to buy some quality entertainment. The guy selling me the ad used the selling point that the professional graphics department would be able to come up with a suitable ad based upon a visit to my website. Naturally I was doubtful. Generally when this sort of creation occurs, the folks have no real idea what to promote, especially since they are not entertainers and are most likely looking for photos to use instead of talking points that would make an impact. Just because you're in graphics or advertising doesn't mean you know jack about selling a comedy juggling act.
Here's the ad they came up with.
See what I mean? They didn't even get my phone number right.
Undeterred and more than capable of believing in my own abilities I tweaked the ad and sent them my concept. I based it upon their starting point and made it fit with my current promotional campaigns, something I knew they wouldn't be able to do without actually consulting me.
Here's the final version.
It may not be perfect but it is way better than the first version.
Yellow Book Report: Part Three: Cheap & Unrealistic
Earlier this week I made a comment about how the people who are using the Yellow Book to contact me are cheap and unrealistic. OK, I used stronger language but after some mystery reader named Ken showed up and said I made him "feel special". I altered the post a bit to prevent too many hurt feelings and MAYBE not turn away potential clients.
It is funny though. Every so often new people come in here and get huffy when they find a less than corporate Andy than you'd find at my main website. They're all warned in advance. Whether or not they choose to read and believe the warning is up to them.
Hurt feelings or not, it seems that the majority of the people that have been responding to my Yellow Book ad have some rather LOW budgets and some extremely unreal expectations.
I've had three more calls since the last post.
One reflects people who actually did want to plan in advance, but had literally no money to spend. I started with my already low rate for such an event and then, after finding out their budget was merely $85.00 (Seriously?) I agreed to take the event should they wish to book. I felt like a whore, but I wanted SOMEONE to book from the Yellow Pages ad. Even bringing my price down to the point where I was losing money to do the show didn't work.
One was a spur of the moment, "Gee, I've already spent a ton on this big party in the hills, yet I have no entertainment" kind of call. He wanted a full-on 45-minute show complete with the fire-eating, the plate-spinning and so on. I quoted my rate for such a show - well, my rate from about 5 years ago, and told him I'd be willing to work with his budget since it was so last minute (two days out from the big party he'd been planning for months).
The third was a last-minute planner & someone who read the ad and called to ask about something I don't even provide, a moon bounce for her yard. Embarrassed by her mistake she chose to inquire about my entertainment services which resulted in a total freak out at the very inexpensive price I quoted. I cost considerably less than a moon bounce if you're wondering.
Again I ask, if you are looking to spend about $50.00 or less for entertainment, why would you choose to call the guy with the biggest and prettiest ad in the Yellow Book? I'm not saying there aren't people in the Yellow Pages who will charge practically nothing for a ton of entertainment because clearly, there are those under-cutting jerks out there. I'm just saying that it doesn't take long to find out many of the cheap acts don't have my skill set nor my performance record and the fact I'm willing to come down in price so much should be as much of a selling point as having a Ringling Bros. trained, 23-year seasoned performer who has opened for Gladys Knight, been seen on national TV, and performed for the President & Congress.
With all due respect to Ken, it is I who should have the hurt feelings.
"Party Planning Service" Category: Four Calls, No Bookings
"Entertainment - Family" Category: Two Calls, No Bookings One "Moon Bounce" Request. WTF???
One day I'll find the right combination and get some bookings. At least the phone is ringing, right? Of course, none of this bodes well for the salesman next year when he tries to convince me to place another ad. Stay tuned.
I cannot be upset about getting three calls as a result of my Yellow Book ads since the 18th of May. It means people are indeed reading the ad and feeling inspired to call.
I can be a tad upset that nobody has booked any shows. I can be more upset that it seems that the people reading the Yellow Book are CHEAP!
Again, I received a call for a somewhat last minute graduation party show and [SIGH!] another birthday party. Both times I quoted a VERY reasonable price, especially when you consider that I have been doing this professionally for nearly 25 years and and that I am in one of the entertainment meccas of the world. Both times they were frightened away by the cost.
There are an estimated TWO MILLION PEOPLE living in Clark County, with about 600,000 in the city of Las Vegas alone. This is not a small town and the population & average salaries of the people here means this area falls well within the range of the measly sum I charge for a stinkin' birthday party. That being said, I am apparently too rich for the blood of the folks who care enough about their kids to spring for a party, but not enough to plan ahead longer than a week or so.
From now on I think I will try to find out what the person is looking to spend and then tell them what kind of show I can offer for that price. MAYBE that will generate some kind of interest or work. I've had some folks not even return the follow-up calls, presumably because they're too afraid to talk to the guy with the high price. I don't know.
What bugs the hell out of me is that people must know that Yellow Pages ads cost money. I can't assume everyone out there knows that they are actually pretty expensive since most people don't advertise in the phone book unless they have a business. Regardless, if you are looking to spend about $50.00 for entertainment, why would you choose to call the guy with the biggest and prettiest ad in the book. Even a moron would have to assume those ads are more expensive than the tiny ones and therefore, the act may charge more than others, right?
Ah well, at least the phone is ringing. For those keeping score...
"Party Planning Service" Category: Three Calls, No Bookings
"Entertainment - Family" Category: No Calls, No Bookings
I am assuming one of the calls came from the "party Planning Service" category since that's where the others came from. Of course I can't say for sure since this cheapo won't return my follow-up phone calls. Stay tuned.
Last Wednesday I received my very first response to my Yellow Book Yellow Pages ad. I can say it was my FIRST call because until this year I'd never even been in ANY town's Yellow Pages.
It was nice to get a response the same week the ad broke. It was rather encouraging, especially since I've been extremely depressed about my lack of entertainment work. My goal and subsequent streak of booking ONE event a month (to at least make me FEEL like I'm still an entertainer) will be coming to an end this month, unless something changes SOON!
The first call? [sigh]A birthday party...for a (get this) TWO YEAR OLD. Yep. Them pre-toddlers just LOVE comedians and jugglers.
When was this birthday party? [sigh] The very next day. Not that I wasn't available. I just knew the person would have NO budget. I quoted a VERY reasonable (extremely cheap) price for the event and hoped for the best.
The result? [sigh]"Oh. [pause] Really? [pause] Um...well I've got to call a few more people first, but I'll let you know. [CLICK]."
Still and all, it was a call in response to my ad. As the Mythbusters say, any result is a result.
I'm keeping tabs on how "successful these ads will be so when the salesman calls next year I can tell him why I will or will not be continuing my advertisement. So for those keeping score...
"Party Planning Service" Category: One Call, No Booking
"Entertainment - Family" Category: No Calls, No Bookings
OK, they've been here for awhile. I just forgot to tell you. Not even sure why I ordered these since it is apparent that I'm probably going to be permanently out of the business soon. Ah well...they're here.
Within this post are the proofs (shouldn't it be "prooves"?) from my very first Yellow Book Yellow Pages ads.
In the past I have stayed away from advertising in the Yellow Pages. For most folks in my business the ads seem to generate only the low-paying, family birthday parties and not the higher-paying corporate & theatre market shows that I strive to get. Therefore the relatively high cost for such an ad (and they CAN be quite expensive) hasn't been worth the expenditure. Sure, the occasional birthday party does pay the bills to some extent and I do offer a very affordable show for exactly these shows, but if you have the loftier goals you shouldn't put all your eggs into the wrong basket. Why the change this time around? Being a new member of the North Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce has its privileges . Specifically, a $1000 voucher for an ad in the Greater Las Vegas edition of the Yellow Book. Now it becomes well worth trying. Since I am still quite new here and clearly NOT working full-time as an entertainer (yet!), any work is appreciated. Plus, with a fairly LOW-COST upgrade I made to the existing voucher I could better place the ad within the book AND get a second ad in another section. So I not only spend considerably less than I would have for a much smaller ad, but I get it out to more people and increase the potential of being hired by the better-paying clients. Essentially I am spending less than I would have for one tiny ad, when I am actually getting two big ones in the bigger book, and two different categories. Sometimes it it worth moving from "FREE" to "NOT FREE".
You can't place an ad in the Vegas Yellow Pages under the heading "Entertainers". Why? Because a nice comedian juggler like myself would be completely lost in the seemingly hundreds of pages worth of strippers and escorts. Seriously...check it out next time you're out here. I also wasn't going to place an ad in the "Magicians" category since I am not primarily a magician and that ad might attract some really cheap shows.
After careful consideration I chose two very specific listings. The first was the"Party Planning Service" category. The ads that were in there already reflected more of the types of clients I not only market to and work for, but seemed to be the place where an ad for a juggling comedian would stand out and attract some attention from potential clients. Good chance for more corporate shows and the like with this, the more artistic and certainly more visible ad.
Next, I chose the "Entertainment - Family" category. Knowing there would be rather a lot of the family shows asking anyway I chose to put a less aggressive, but equally informative ad there. That way some of the folks in the wealthier neighborhoods like Anthem or Summerlin can find me as well as the even more local places. If a show doesn't pay well (and everyone knows I am not all that expensive to begin with) I have some great people I can refer and keep my name in good graces with the community.
I'll be keeping track of just how effective these ads are and hopeful that I'll see a need to renew for next year. I don't believe I'll be in the online version of the Yellow Book, but I already have a killer website that gets a lot of attention and, of course, this blog manages to get the word out. ;)
