Best Song Ever! Vol. Six: "Then He Kissed Me", By The Crystals

"Well he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance."

Yeah, I know. Most folks think that us manly men can't get down with the girl groups. Those folks are all totally wrong in every way. How can this be? Because Phil Fuckin' Spector was a goddamn genius! A gun-toting, dance song making, completely insane freak of nature genius.

There will likely be MANY Phil Spector-produced songs on my ever-growing list of "Best Songs Ever". I chose this one because this is the one I was listening to most on my way home from Wisconsin. That, and it is the "Best Song Ever!"

Just one of the many successful girl groups produced by Spector, The Crystals released some of my all-time favorite pop and dance records of all time. The vocals are piercing, memorable, emotional, and fitting of the songs in ways other artists rarely achieved.

Add the classic "Wall of Sound", that ever-present rhythm machine that made Phil Spector (and every record he touched) famous, and you have one killer song! This tune will NEVER fade away into the night and it will always be timeless in every way.

Like many of the pop songs of the day, especially the girl group hits, this was a simple story about teenage love. It is filled with danceable rhythm and has a soulful sound that never fails to deliver. Plus, that opening riff is so good I dare you not to listen to the rest of the song.

Sure, most men of my age MAY have a fondness for the song because of its clever and perfect use of the song in the opening title sequence of the cult classic comedy film, "Adventures in Babysitting". However a bouncing and adorable Elisabeth Shue does not take away from the overall quality of one of the best tunes ever committed to vinyl.

Take a listen to the song. If you've never heard it you'll be dancing and bobbing your head in no time. If you've just forgotten how damn great this record is then enjoy a trip down memory lane. I think you'll ultimately agree that "Then He Kissed Me" is The Best Song Ever!

PSST! For the geeks out there...someday I'll have a little music video of my own featuring this tune and a certain time traveler. Don't wanna spoil it, but if I ever get it created and edited it will make a big splash in the geeky YouTube world. Heh!

Best Song Ever! Vol. One: "Music Time", by Styx

Best Song Ever! Vol. Two: "A Life of Illusion", by Joe Walsh

Best Song Ever! Vol. Three: "Asshole", By Denis Leary

Best Song Ever! Vol. Four: "Just a Closer Walk with Thee", By Venice Beach Boys

Best Song Ever! Vol. Five: "Photograph", By Ringo Starr

Best Song Ever! Vol. Five "Photograph", By Ringo Starr

"Everytime I see your face
it reminds me of the places we used to go."

I have always had something of a thing for what I call "happy sad songs". That is to say, song that sound fun and uplifting, but are actually kind of sad if you take the time to listen to the lyrics and not just bob your head to the music. "Brown-Eyed Girl" is something of a good example, but I truly prefer the Everclear remake of the song because it brings out MORE of the sadness. I digress.

"Photograph" is among my favorite songs in general, if not on top of the list of favorite happy sad songs. Written by former Beatles, Ringo Starr & George Harrison, this song is often overlooked whenever people are talking about the great songs of our time.

Among the things I like about this song is the simple beauty of its construction and execution. It is a melodic song with easy to remember lyrics in a vocal range most anyone can hit. If you're fans of either George Harrison or Ringo's work, you can see the collaborative effort working so beautifully. Harrison always had a brilliant way of taking the simplest of thoughts and giving them epic meaning. Ringo has always been an easy-going man with a flair for music with a simple message, occasionally played with an epic quality ("Back Door Boogaloo" anyone?). Together they made a truly beautiful masterpiece, illustrating the loss of a lover and how a single photo can spark myriad memories and thoughts.

Of course, as much as I like the song overall, for me, THE ONLY VERSION OF THIS SONG worth playing , especially over & over as I tend to do with my favorite songs, is from the VH1 Storytellers: Ringo Starr album. You simply will not get a better rendition of this song anywhere.

Everything from this performance, from the vocals to the musicianship, and the technical stuff like the sound mixing are stellar. It doesn't hurt that the great Joe Walsh is playing on this CD either.

Ringo Starr and the music he has made over the years are often considered to be something of a joke. It is sad to think that of someone who was a part of something so special and revered in rock music and, essentially, history. He is a funny man with an odd sense of humor that only years of rock living and excess can bring about. That being said, I defy anyone to listen to the VH1 version of "Photograph" and not be moved.

I was fortunate enough to get to see one of the incarnations of Ringo Starr and his All Starr Band a few years back. I am more than hopeful to check it out again because the program is always fantastic. Ringo, surrounded by many other musicians, all playing the songs for which they are best known. Not a bad night out. Even though it was no surprise, when they played "Photograph" on stage, I was nearly in tears I was so happy. It really is the Best Song Ever!

The VH1 Storytellers performance on YouTube.

Photograph sample on Amazon.

Best Song Ever! Vol. One: "Music Time", by Styx

Best Song Ever! Vol. Two: "A Life of Illusion", by Joe Walsh
Best Song Ever! Vol. Three: "Asshole", By Denis Leary
Best Song Ever! Vol. Four: "Just a Closer Walk with Thee", By Venice Beach Boys

Best Song Ever! Vol. Four: "Just a Closer Walk with Thee", By Venice Beach Boys

"I am weak but thou art strong."

I like songs for many reasons. Most of the time it has more to do with how the song sounds and how it makes me feel as opposed to the content or the meaning of the lyrics.

I am not a terribly religious person, but this song has always been among my favorite devotional hymns. When it is performed by the Venice Beach Boys, it is the Best Song Ever!

I've always liked this song. If you simply have to have some sort of Jesus-lovin' devotional tune blaring in your head, at a church, when you'd rather be home watching the game, this is THE song to have playing. It is respectful, but not all too "churchy" for my tastes. It has always been more of a contemporary song than a hymn in my opinion. Plus, this is among the relatively few catchy religious tunes that also lends itself beautifully to some swingin' arrangements by New Orleans bands, blues musicians & kickin' gospel groups.

So far as I know this is only found on the soundtrack for the film, "White Men Can't Jump". CLICK HERE TO HEAR A SAMPLE AT AMAZON.COM. I've not found a whole lot of other music by the group nor many other mentions of this group outside of this soundtrack. For all I know, this group was assembled simply to perform the song during the opening sequence of the film and that's about it. No matter, this version of the song ROCKS!

Simple instrumentation moves the song along in the form of guitar and a brushed snare drum, but it is the outstanding vocals that makes this so memorable. Only the first two verses of the song are used, and there are elements of doo-wop & swing. You see the Venice Beach Boys performing this a bit on screen and in both the visual performance and on the audio track you get the feeling that these guys are life-long friends who have gotten together to sing cool tunes on a street corner for years. It is filled with fun, excitement, and inspiration.

You can listen to their version of the song even if you've got no religious thoughts in your head whatsoever. If you somehow can't get past the Jesus connection, you simply can't argue the quality, especially if you are a fan of music performed to perfection.

In his younger days, my dad used to sing with a group called the Town Criers (at least I think that was the name). Somewhere there exists a great black & white photo of the group in their white tuxedos and with their instruments. Dad used to fake playing the bass violin and looked cool doing it. He couldn't play a note but he could sing damn well.

He used to sing this song every so often, just because he liked the tune and it made him feel good. He told me stories of how the group would, upon occasion, break into the song with his best friend, Bruce playing clarinet. They'd start off slowly, as if at church and then break into some swingin' version of the song. He always talked about what fun he had with this song and others like it. When I hear the Venice Beach Boys singing this song I often imagine my dad singing with his friend, pretending to play bass, and having a ball.

I wonder if this version is a little like what they played. Even if it isn't similar at all, the Venice Beach Boys' recording of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" is the Best Song Ever! What the hell, today is Sunday, right?

Best Song Ever! Vol. One: "Music Time", by Styx

Best Song Ever! Vol. Two: "A Life of Illusion", by Joe Walsh
Best Song Ever! Vol. Three: "Asshole", By Denis Leary

Best Song Ever! Vol. Three, "Asshole", By Denis Leary

"No, I've gotta go out and

have fun at someone else's expense."

Sure I could have chosen a kick-ass Christmas tune or posted something warm and fuzzy for Christmas Eve. I didn't. Why? I'm an asshole. Any asshole like me would find the humor in making this my Christmas Eve post.

I don't even own this song. I frequently forget about the very existence of this tune. I've never been a huge fan of Denis Leary's comedy, though I'll confess to liking his acting work. Most comedians won't cop to enjoying Leary, generally because there's quite a lot of talk about Leary stealing Bill Hicks' act verbatim. I've no intention of getting into any of that here. You are not interested in comedy theory and so on. You want to know why this, of all songs, is the best song ever.

This is the best song ever because it is just so wonderfully rude and abrasive. We certainly all know people like the asshole described in the lyrics. In fact, everyone feels like being the type of asshole described in this song at one point or another. Even if we're not assholes, there are times when we really want to be and this song gives us a little permission to let off steam, if not a blueprint for exactly how to achieve such perfect asshole status.

Moreover, this song is just extremely good to listen to. It is written in a manner similar to some classic Beatles tunes and has addictive chords and harmonies. I am always a big fan of beauty ruined by startling ugliness. "Asshole" is a fine example of such humor. I can listen to this over and over and if I'm in the car I can yell out the chorus as if it were an empowering anthem of freedom. I know...I'm an asshole.

We all want to be nice and friendly more often, but frequently are not. As people, we can tend to be extremely unkind and insensitive and I've no intention of pretending that this is always a bad thing. Sometimes we need to be a bit rude. While I'll always hope that things can be a little better, I'll never pretend that our callous behavior isn't as much a part of what makes us human. This song celebrates that dark side of everyone.

So, as we all gather around the tree, open presents, and share in some family moments and good tidings, let's all remember that these wonderfully warm & fuzzy feelings of goodwill will all be gone on December 26th. Why? Because we're all assholes sometimes. I'm an asshole just for mentioning this truth about the end of the Holiday season.

If you've no intention on being an asshole on December 26th, I'm quite certain someone standing in line to return a shitty gift, some out-of-town-bad-driving-fuckwad, or some dickhead with a blog will make YOU want either to be an asshole yourself, or tell that guy what an asshole he is.

Listen to the Best Song Ever, "Asshole". Click the YouTube link above and enjoy the video as well. Ummm...Do I have to be an asshole and tell you that the lyrics are not safe for work? Wait, an asshole wouldn't warn you at all. Ah well, I'm not that much of an asshole.

Merry Christmas, assholes!

Best Song Ever! Vol. One: "Music Time", by Styx

Best Song Ever! Vol. Two: "A Life of Illusion", by Joe Walsh

Best Song Ever! Vol. One, "Music Time", By Styx

"Hey everybody it's music time!"

Anyone who reads this blog regularly (a few of you) and remembers the things they read here (none of you) will recall I was thinking about starting a regular or at least semi-regular segment around here called "Best Song Ever!" Don't believe me? CLICK HERE, DAMMIT!

A quick recap - I have many songs that for reasons I can't quite explain, I can listen to over and over again without even thinking about listening to something else. Sometimes the songs "make sense" to the people who get stuck listening to them several times with me. Some of them "make no sense at all" according to my friends.

I'm reminded that the definition of insanity is to do the exact same thing over and over, but expect different results. With these songs, I do the same thing over and over by listening to them so damned often, but I expect the same results every time. The result I expect is to come to the conclusion that the song is the Best Song Ever! So where does that leave me?

Let's get the ball rolling with one of those "makes no sense at all" songs; the forgotten Styx hit, "Music Time". This song was the last hit song for the band before they broke up, reunited, had another hit or two, broke up again, reunited again without Dennis DeYoung and are now...Ah who gives a damn, "Music Time" is the Best Song Ever!

Released in 1981 as the only studio track and the only new single from the "Caught in the Act" double album, the song had modest success if any at all. When it came out I was living in the stone age, top 40 radio hell known as Marengo, Illinois and I heard the song a lot. I even saw the video, which was bizarre because we didn't have cable nor MTV in our house. So Friday Night Videos & Casey Kasem must have played it plenty for me to even have seen the thing.

The video was freakishly strange, as was the song. I can't remember a damn thing about the video other then I thought it was so completely unlike anything I'd ever seen Styx do before. I was one of those people who thought the whole "Kilroy Was Here" experiment was kind of cool, if not really, REALLY pretentious. That being said, this song was a complete departure from traditional Styx songs.

The song was very frantic and more pop-driven than anything else. There was a hell of a lot of screaming electric guitar work and not as much synthesizer. The lyrics were very silly by way of comparison. Sure, the band had a song called "Plexiglass Toilet" some years before they were famous, but who the hell even knew that other than me and fans of the Doctor Demento Show?

The song was also not some kind of epic showcase of Dennis DeYoung's powerful voice. It was designed to be a fun, crazy, dance song. It has several similarities to other 80's hits. The Pointer Sisters song, "Neutron Dance" comes to mind as do a couple of Huey Lewis & the News songs, "Couple Days Off" (Musically) and "I Know What I Like" (Lyrically).

For whatever reason this remains my FAVORITE Styx song. I was a big fan of Styx as a kid and still upon occasion find myself indulging in the guilty pleasures of the often self-indulgent, occasionally over-produced, Styx catalogue ("Snowblind" fucking ROCKS!). Perhaps it is because this song is rarely played anywhere anymore or remembered at all that makes me go nuts to hear it repeatedly (like I am while writing this post). For whatever reason, this is the Styx song I'll defend to the death and deem worthy of "Best Song Ever!" status. Deal with it!

You can listen to "Music Time" for free at Rhapsody and mock me for it mercilessly later. In fact you can have a listen to the entire "Caught in the Act" album one time there if you've got a yearning for some live Styx action.

Introduction to "Best Song Ever!"

I'm not sure if I'm going to make this a weekly installment or just a sporadic posting, but I've decided that it is time I spout out nothing more than my own over-indulgent opinions about some of my all-time favorite songs. For lack of a better idea I'll be titling these posts, "Best Song Ever!"

Understand that I'm a bit odd with regard to my favorite songs. Everyone has a song or two that they can listen to a few times in a row. My favorite songs are ones where I can quite actually listen to them 10, 20, 30 times in a row, if not more. Seriously. No problem at all. I could let 30 minutes to an hour go by and not hear a differing note from some other song.

I tried to make a mix tape of such songs and found out it was extremely difficult to enjoy because I'd rarely get past the first song. Some of them I like for their content. Others are on my list for my emotional attachment to them. Some I just like because they're just guilty pleasures.

This is just to give you fair warning that I'll occasionally be rattling off some sort of Andy-centric nonsense about songs that, in my opinion, hold the universe together. Had these songs not been written and recorded the world just wouldn't quite be the same. Many of these songs are ridiculous and might not be included on any such list written by more qualified folks than myself.

Until then, I'll do a very stereotypical "please leave comments" kind of blog thing and ask you...What are your all-time favorite songs? Do you have any songs that you can listen to so many times, people around you would worry for your sanity?