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Saturday, December 23, 2006

Best Song Ever! Vol. Three, "Asshole", By Denis Leary

"No, I've gotta go out and
have fun at someone else's expense."

Sure I could have chosen a kick-ass Christmas tune or posted something warm and fuzzy for Christmas Eve. I didn't. Why? I'm an asshole. Any asshole like me would find the humor in making this my Christmas Eve post.

I don't even own this song. I frequently forget about the very existence of this tune. I've never been a huge fan of Denis Leary's comedy, though I'll confess to liking his acting work. Most comedians won't cop to enjoying Leary, generally because there's quite a lot of talk about Leary stealing Bill Hicks' act verbatim. I've no intention of getting into any of that here. You are not interested in comedy theory and so on. You want to know why this, of all songs, is the best song ever.

This is the best song ever because it is just so wonderfully rude and abrasive. We certainly all know people like the asshole described in the lyrics. In fact, everyone feels like being the type of asshole described in this song at one point or another. Even if we're not assholes, there are times when we really want to be and this song gives us a little permission to let off steam, if not a blueprint for exactly how to achieve such perfect asshole status.

Moreover, this song is just extremely good to listen to. It is written in a manner similar to some classic Beatles tunes and has addictive chords and harmonies. I am always a big fan of beauty ruined by startling ugliness. "Asshole" is a fine example of such humor. I can listen to this over and over and if I'm in the car I can yell out the chorus as if it were an empowering anthem of freedom. I know...I'm an asshole.

We all want to be nice and friendly more often, but frequently are not. As people, we can tend to be extremely unkind and insensitive and I've no intention of pretending that this is always a bad thing. Sometimes we need to be a bit rude. While I'll always hope that things can be a little better, I'll never pretend that our callous behavior isn't as much a part of what makes us human. This song celebrates that dark side of everyone.

So, as we all gather around the tree, open presents, and share in some family moments and good tidings, let's all remember that these wonderfully warm & fuzzy feelings of goodwill will all be gone on December 26th. Why? Because we're all assholes sometimes. I'm an asshole just for mentioning this truth about the end of the Holiday season.

If you've no intention on being an asshole on December 26th, I'm quite certain someone standing in line to return a shitty gift, some out-of-town-bad-driving-fuckwad, or some dickhead with a blog will make YOU want either to be an asshole yourself, or tell that guy what an asshole he is.

Listen to the Best Song Ever, "Asshole". Click the YouTube link above and enjoy the video as well. Ummm...Do I have to be an asshole and tell you that the lyrics are not safe for work? Wait, an asshole wouldn't warn you at all. Ah well, I'm not that much of an asshole.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any song that features a child (even muted) using profanity absolutely rocks!

Thanks for posting!

3:44 AM

Blogger golfwidow said...

I don't really find this song to be much of an example of Leary's assholery. He only actually cops to four actual acts of assholistic behavior and four wishes for potential assholosity. Plus, he loses asshole points due to my liking the chorus yodeling. Sounds very Irish punk.

I think Jim Morrison is a bigger asshole than Denis Leary, or, in Denis' twelve words "I'm drunk, I'm nobody, I'm drunk, I'm famous, I'm drunk, I'm dead." Unless Leary stole that from Bill Hicks.

To really qualify your own self as an asshole, send the Youtube to someone's grandma with the subject line "Happy Holidays!"

4:12 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love denis leary, i love that song..yes, yes, yes!

excellent choice. and I also love the giant fucking Q and Black Death cigarettes. lmao!

have a great christmas, andy!

10:01 AM

Anonymous E.P. said...

Besides of course, "THE SONG of songs" (see for more details), one must mention the classic "You're Breaking My Heart, You're Tearing It Apart, So Fuck You" by Harry Nilsson from the Son of Schmilsson album. One of the finest love songs ever!

Oh... and a happy whatchamacallit!

me gotta go...

9:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great songs, yeah. I'm not a big leary fan overall, but I liked his TV shows and I'd put his "No Cure For Cancer" show as one of the top 15 comedy shows of all time, easy.

I'm a fan of Bill Hicks and know a lot of his work, and I've never really understood the stealing charge. I'm probably missing something, but I don't hear any verbatim riffs. The style, the delivery are the same, yeah. But the actual material seems to come straight from Leary's experiences.

10:45 AM


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