Leaving Las Vegas

Tonight I head back to the Chicago area for one last round of gigs. I will continue to take work in the Midwest and nationwide just as I have for all these years, but after this next little stint out there I'll be a more permanent resident of Las Vegas.

I do have a trip to Chicago scheduled for August 22 though. There's a Blues Brothers gig that the client is more than willing to fly me out for so that's all good. If I gather some more work for that weekend I'll be out there for a few days.



In any event, the plan for now is that I'll be driving back to Las Vegas starting on August 5th. A good friend of mine, Kurt, will be driving with me. He's been in need of a vacation and a long road trip seems to be right up his alley.

Among the bookings I'll be working this trip is the National Mustard Day celebration, hosted by the fine folks at the Mt. Horeb Mustard Museum. I always have a fun time out there and April has already compiled a list of mustards for me to sample and mustards to reorder. See, I work this festival and I trade services for goods. I stroll for a few hours and do a show, they pay me in far too many delicious mustards and food items. Nice!


We've become great friends with Barry & Patti, who own the Museum. April even made them a cross-stitch of their sign for the holidays last year. It is proudly on display in the Museum.

I already miss this place. The place has some great features. A huge kitchen that April has decorated with lots of our "kitschy" (formerly "useless") collectibles is one of the highlights for me. We have a rather large master bedroom and bathroom which is all festooned in PENGUINS! (Heh!). We recently purchased a lovely small table and chairs for our dining area. We even use it for dining and not for tossing crap.



I'll also miss being here. Even though I have no real employment to speak of, I have a great sense of calm from the experience. I know this is the right place for us. I love the mountains and the desert. I enjoy the people and the abundance of shops and services. This is our home now and I know we'll make it work somehow.

Ten Things Tuesday: Favorite Mustards from the Mustard Museum (So far)

All of these are available for purchase at the world famous Mt. Horeb Mustard Museum. I recommend you check them out right away.

• Slimm & Nunne, Sweet & Nicely Hot Mustard (Try it on vanilla ice cream! YUMMMM!)
  
• Temeraire Authentic Dijon (My current favorite, get the 30 oz size. Trust me!)
• Brickstone Old Fashioned Maple Dijon
• Fox Hollow Farm Sweet & Spicy Balsamic Garlic Mustard
  
• Mucky Duck Original Sweet & Tangy Pub Mustard (or Mucky Duck Honey & Hot Mustard )
  
• Aunty Lilikoi's Passion Fruit Wasabi Mustard (Among the best things anyone could ever eat!)
• Grapevine Toasted Onion & Souvinon Blanc Mustard
• AJ's Walla Walla Sweet Onion Mustard (or the Walla Walla with Bacon...or the Walla Walla with Red Bell Peppers)
• Nunda's Cajun Onion Mustard (HELL YEAH!)
• Singing Pig Wine Garlic Mustard

OK, I actually listed 13 mustards there. Consider it a bonus or something. Besides, I could list MANY more if I wanted to. Perhaps another list will be made down the road. I've only got about 20 more jars in the cabinet just waiting to be opened!

Oh I Wish...

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener.
That is what I'd truly like to be.
Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener,
Everyone would be in love with me.

Just a little bit more of the fun I had a short while ago at the Mt. Horeb Mustard Museum. If either of my two Jingles get selected for the finals, you can vote online for your favorite. ;)

My Bologna Has a First Name...

My bologna has a first name.
It's O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna has a second name.
It's M-A-Y-E-R.
Oh, I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me, "Why?" I'll say,
"'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A"

How's that?

Remember when I was at the Mt. Horeb Mustard Museum & National Mustard Day a short time ago? Well among the fun to be had there was the presence of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

They're there every year, but this year in particular they are having a Sing the Jingle contest. You can sing the Oscar Mayer Bologna song and/or the Oscar Mayer Wiener song for a chance to be in a commercial and make a few bucks.

I have no delusions of winning a darned thing, but I do take great pride in my work, silly as it may be. Moreover, I'm tickled pink to know that you can download your auditions at the Oscar Mayer site and do whatever you want with them. A great promotional idea on their part as I suspect many folks will be adding these to their blogs and providing loads of free advertising. I am happy to play along, if only to entertain you and provide two more days worth of content.

Today is the Day

My return visit to the happiest place on Earth, the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum. I'm performing at the National Mustard Day Festival and as per usual, I couldn't be more excited!

I may even enter the Oscar Mayer Sing a Jingle contest. I'll keep you posted.

If all goes well I'll also get to spend a little time with an old Clown College buddy who's working in Baraboo this summer. For now, I'm happy that I'll be bringing home many jars of tasty mustard!

Random Notes

Thanks to Gordon for plugging my services. He's one of the good ones and I thank him from the heart of my bottom, or something like that.

May God bless and keep Helen Thomas with us forever and ever.

I'll be at the Mt. Horeb Mustard Museum performing at National Mustard Day again this August 5, 2006. Please someone come visit me so I can feel like a big shot entertainer.

My Ramshorn Snail died last night of mysterious circumstances. This is only a few weeks after the untimely death of my Ivory Snail. Anyone having any information pertaining to the demise of these beloved pets should contact me immediately. I offer no reward as these things die frequently and cost a couple bucks each, but I need to grieve somehow and this seemed the most appropriate way.

Ray Meyer died this week. I met him and his son, Joey, at an event at what was then known as Ditka's Trackside at Arlington Park Race Track. I'd love to turn this into a Random Celebrity Memory type story, but I have no real story other than to say I met him and liked him very much. Both he and his son were very polite and friendly guys.

I DO have a photo of me with then Chicago Mayor Eugene Sawyer taken at that same event. So in lieu of any really cool Coach Ray Meyer anecdotes I'll share the Mayor Eugene Sawyer photo.

I have an appointment with my accountant tomorrow. Gotta file my taxes. Pray for me, if that sort of thing works for you. I'm already depressed enough about the way my finances are going this year, I am dreading the news tomorrow. Even though my taxes are generally no big whoop, I have nothing but dread for my life.

Thursday April and I will be seeing Queen + Paul Rodgers. I don't give two shits if you think that there is no such thing as Queen with another lead singer, Paul Rodgers is a PERFECT choice to front this legendary band on many different levels and we both can't be happier to know we're going to see a great band playing great songs, and being fronted by a great lead singer. We saw Rodgers a few years back doing a solo show at Taste of Chicago and this guy is every bit the rock god as anyone you've ever seen.

I'm quite sure the other random thoughts running through my head are quite torrid and not appropriate for this audience. So I'll stop now.

As if You Needed One More Reason to Love the Mustard Museum!

While placing my gift order for my brother-in-law, it was brought to my attention that I am featured prominently in the current Mustard Museum catalog. Somehow my issue got lost in the mail (have to justify the January postage hike I guess) and I was completely unaware of this fact. Barry & Patti Levinson (owners) being such great people, rectified the situation by sending me many catalogs for my enjoyment and my files. Lo and behold, I am on page 8 of the catalog juggling three bottles of French's Mustard.

Naturally I am as giddy as can be! I had a great time working the National Mustard Day festival this year and the MANY jars of mustard and other gifts bestowed upon me was more than enough to tickle my fancy. Getting a little extra boost in their catalog is that much better!

In the scan above you can see the way cool Mustard Museum Scrubs being modeled by Barry Levinson. Didn't I tell you those things are freakin' cool! I have my very own set of those and they accompany me often on road trips. You should really consider picking up some for yourselves.

I bring this to your attention for a few reasons.

1. First of all, if you are among the few silly Andy Martello collectors out there (Jade!), you should definitely request a catalog from the Mustard Museum.
2. Next, you will have to take note of the many delicious condiments available for purchase through the Museum and consider placing an order. I promise you'll find something you'll love.
3. This is very important. If you are one of those frustrated writers (aren't all bloggers frustrated writers?) you absolutely have to check out the Mustard Mystery Contest. You could win $5,000.00 for writing the next chapter in the story, "Murder at the Mustard Museum". I don't know about you, but I could use $5,000.00 and I plan on entering (I am eligible, ya know.). I highly recommend you do the same.

My Weekend in Wisconsin

I've talked about this sort of thing with other performers and industry types before. Some gigs you take for the money. Some bookings you take to help your career. Some are jobs you take because YOU want to have some fun. The National Mustard Day festival is one booking I took purely for my own enjoyment.

As many of you well know, I LOVE the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum. Every year they put on this great little festival without ANY help or support from the town, made famous by the Mustard Museum . They try to get sponsorship from the various vendors with some success but the majority of the cash put up for the FREE HOT DOGS (and the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile!), the games, the food, and other giveaway items comes from the Museum. Naturally they didn't have a lot of cash to spend on a professional entertainer like myself that some of the other fests do. This didn't bother me. I was willing to work for MUSTARD!

They have so darned many different and delicious types of mustards available there, I rarely exit the place without spending a lot of moolah. We use it all in various recipes here so it is never considered a waste of money to us. All I wanted was a little gas money and some mustards to be named later as payment for one show and some strolling entertainment.

Barry & Patti, owners of the museum, are arguably the nicest people on Earth and they put on one heck of a fun fest! They made me feel right at home and were very appreciative of the time I spent at their small festival. They allowed me to take more than any man's fair shore of tasty condiments home with me and they even awarded me a diploma from Poupon U., the world's foremost collegiate authority in mustardology.

Alongside some edible products I was also treated to some fine wearables. Check out these kick-ass medical scrubs. How comfy are these? You KNOW you're jealous of me! I imagine these will be quite a hit for the college kids around Wisconsin and elsewhere.

After bestowing upon me the goodies they even presented me with a check that was CONSIDERABLY more than the allotted gas money we'd agreed upon. I couldn't believe the generosity of these folks. They made it perfectly clear to me that my work was appreciated and that I was welcome there any time. I believe I know where I'll be spending the first Saturday in August for many years to come.

I also took some time to watch "March of the Penguins", see the sights in Baraboo, play some slots at the Ho-Chunk Casino, and found a great cheap motel near my next day's destination, Watertown, Wisconsin.

The Watertown Riverfest continues to be one of my favorite festivals to work. The setting is so beautiful and the people are always friendly. This year I was fortunate enough to work when Peter Noone was there. I was within "spitting distance" of the guy, but I opted not to spit nor bother ole Herman. I saw many women in their 50's and older running to get a glimpse of the man. I couldn't decide if it was sad or cool to watch these aging women act all giddy for Noone. I chose to find it sad for the ladies and cool for Peter Noone. Why not?

Anyway, with the good food, the fine friendship, the beautiful weather & scenery, and the accompanying satisfaction of making a living at a job I love, I had one GREAT weekend in Wisconsin.

Will Work for Food

Last week I found myself in Whiting, Indiana to perform at the Pierogi Fest. They've been trying to get me there for three straight years and this year I was FINALLY available to perform and boy was I glad to go.

April LOVES pierogis and I certainly can wolf down a few on my own. I wanted to make sure to get this booking so she could come along and enjoy one of her favorite foods from some 30+ vendors.

This week I am back in beautiful Mount Horeb, Wisconsin for NATIONAL MUSTARD DAY. This is, of course brought to the world by the fabulous Mount Horeb Mustard Museum. As you may recall, the Mustard Museum is among my favorite places on Earth and I happily jumped at the chance to work this festival. I'm even accepting much of my pay in mustard!

So, last week I took a gig so my wife could eat pierogis and this week I'm getting paid in mustard. Near as I see it I am the only entertainer around that truly will work for food. :)

The next day has me at a return appearance at another fantastic fest in Wisconsin, the Watertown Riverfest.

For all the times I complain about how bad the business is, when it is good, it is very good. It has less to do with the money to me as it does the fun I have working. Riverfest is one excellent party held in one of the more beautiful places in the state. Last time I was there I worked with Those Darn Accordions and The Fixx. How can you not enjoy a time like that?