The Krafty One is Watching & Other Blog News

I was so pleased to read today a little note from my current blog-crush, Sacha, of Shes-Krafty.com. I sent her an e-mail touting her mighty blogging goodness and requesting a link and she was kind enough to e-mail back. You really should read her blog. Very cool stuff and a great look. Were I a bit more krafty I'd strive to make this place as hip. Thanks, Sacha. I made all the links in this post PINK in your honor.

MissyMae is having a bad day. Not only is she a bit upset with my article in The Cheers, but there's another blogger out there blasting her for what she writes.

Now I have professed nothing but undying love for this queen of the under-sexed blogging world and I most definitely didn't write anything bad about her in my piece. I guess she's a bit upset that I brought up the possibility that Missy "Mae" not be a girl at all. But if you read the article, you'll see that I only posed the possibility and also stated that whomever is writing the work, it is just great fun to read and a must-see if you like blogs.

As for the other blogger breaking bad on my girl, I made sure to go and post my thoughts about MissyMae and all the good that comes out of the Small Town Sex Blog. However, I think the kid can use a little pick-me-up. So why not e-mail MissyMae and send her some good cheer!

She says there's been only about 5 or 6 hits from The Cheers leading to her site. I've gotten quite a few e-mails from folks who've claimed to check out the link I posted so, if you've been enjoying MissyMae's ongoing struggles, drop her a line and cheer the gal up.

This is a whole new world to me. I see that BLOG WARS might need to be examined some other time.

Pyrat XO Reserve - The Greatest Damn Rum on the PLANET!

Both gigs I had to day were great! I got some time in the sun. I made many people happy. I got PAID! Seemed like a good night to crack open one of my stash of Pyrat XO Reserve!

Greg the bartender at the Rum Jungle in Las Vegas got me turned on to this stuff a couple of years back and I have been crazed for it ever since. I have a rule in the house: I will ALWAYS have at least one sealed bottle in reserve before considering opening up a bottle. I NEVER want to be without the stuff so long as I live, it is THAT GOOD!

Seriously, if you have EVER done anything good in your life, you OWE it to yourself to have a straight snifter of Pyrat XO Reserve in your glass. If something were to happen to me where I couldn't have the stuff any more I'd probably off myself without hesitation.

Some people even consider mixing this rum with ...other ingredients! Seems like a waste of good rum to me, but go ahead and give it a whirl. It won't make your drink taste BAD.

In other news...Tomorrow at The Cheers, my review & commentary article about SEX BLOGS! I gave the most positive review of my favorite, Small Town Sex Blog. I hope you enjoy!

Aw, fuck all this crap! I want more RUM!!!

And The Winner Is...GLOBEOFBLOGS.COM!

Once I decided to create a blog I decided to submit to various blog search engines, hoping to attract traffic and gain readers. Having no hit counter installed and no comments from readers I can't be sure if I've managed to do either of these things. But I can say that I am able to do some very unscientific research to see which of these engines really is indexing me and bringing me up in the searches. So...

After a little basic ego-surfing on Google I have come to the conclusion that GlobeofBlogs.com wins the contest for being the first to pop up (after the Blooger Profile and my own site) when typing the simple phrase, "andy martello."

Now bear in mind that when I did the actual search I did not use the quotations, widening the results even further. Regardless, GlobeofBlogs had me listed on the second page of the results and they have earned the right to be the first blog search engine I blog about. I suppose I'll have to add them to my list of buttons now that they've "won". I'd have done it sooner if their damned buttons were easier to find on their site. But the fact I showed up without it makes me all squoozy inside!

If anyone else wants such a lovely write-up touting your greatness then you'd better start earning that freakin' button & link I've given you and get my name out there!

FINALLY! Gorilla Porn is HERE!

I can't believe it took until the year 2004 for the world to finally answer life's burning question, "What would happen if a man wearing a gorilla suit and toting an 18 inch black dildo went to Mardi Gras?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...GorillaGras.com

Go to The River Walk Journal!

I just found out that my Writing Prompts article has been included in the home page of the prestigious River Walk Journal. This is a most excellent writer's resource run by Elizabeth Ross and I am quite honored to be listed on her pages. I am so pleased I thought I'd plug every damn one of her websites right here for ya. Click the living daylights out of these links!

River Walk Journal
http://www.riverwalkjournal.org/

Sabina's World - Home Page
http://www.riverwalkjournal.org/liz/

Sabina's World Editing Group
http://sabina2671.proboards27.com/index.cgi

The Philosophical Mother
http://philosophicalmother.typepad.com/

MomsVoice
http://www.momsvoice.com/

Blog
http://www.xanga.com/lizross

And of course, to read what Liz calls, "A fresh (honest) look at theworld of writing prompts," click HERE!

Next Blog - The Bermuda Triangle of Embryos???

Has anyone stumbled in here by hitting the "Next Blog" button on the nav bar? I've only started hitting that thing to satisfy my curiosity. While I can't say that I've found any blogs that can claim my avid readership, I can say that I've found some with unusual titles.

Come on, wouldn't you take a second look at a blog titled, Bermuda Triangle of Embryos? You'd almost HAVE to look. The subtitle is even better, "My uterus: a place the embryos go, but are never seen again....the mystery continues....." Then to find so MANY uterus-related blogs after further inspection...fascinating!

Unfortunately, most of my "next blogging" has resulted in foreign language blogs that I can't read. I found one on knitting, and some religious columnists, but so far I haven't been able to randomly find that ONE killer blog - WAIT! The Magic Eight Ball shows promise! I'll have to report back with a review.

Anyway, if you've found this place randomly let me know. I really have no idea how many people (if any) have read this crap and the comments are scarce. I've not added a hit counter to the thing yet as I'm sure my fragile ego wouldn't be able to accept a low number of hits. Sure I could exaggerate my starting number, but why lie?

Random Notes

We've got some yahoo posting to the Cheers Forum about wanting news satire stories. There are only about 3 posts in the entire forums section right now and two of them are about news satire. I like that we have at least ONE reader that is interested in our magazine enough to make a suggestion, but really, aren't there enough news satire places out there to keep you occupied?

Isn't The Onion the reigning king of this field? We have some good writers on staff at The Cheers, but we also have some LOUSY ones. I'm very confident that when someone finally does tackle the news satire it will be from one of our LOUSY contributors. Few things are worse than BAD SATIRE. I think this guy is actually one of the staffers trying to stir the pot a little.

I'm in the middle of a busy weekend of gigs and, of course, I have a fucking cold! It is hard enough trying to make geriatrics laugh without making their respirators freak out, but to try and do it with a swollen and sore throat is too much to take. I'm on so many damn cold medications right now I'm amazed there aren't more typos in this post.

Anyway, Monday has new issues of The Cheers and Eklektikos. With those new issues will come some new articles from yours truly.

The Cheers will feature a very funny article SATIRIZING the writing prompts sent out by Writer's Digest.

Eklektikos will be publishing an article about the O.J. Simpson verdict and why I didn't care one iota the bastard was acquitted.

I got an e-mail from MissyMae at Small Town Sex Blog! I'm so pleased. I'm still too chicken-shit to ask for a link exchange. Look for an article in The Cheers Sept. 27 about sex blogs.

More later. Must drain and medicate right now.

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly - SEX BLOGS!

It is inevitable. You go online, you eventually look for porn. That trend carries into the blogging world. You start a blog, eventually you look for a sex blog.

Actually, sex blogs are finding me. I regularly check the updated blog list from Blogger and when I see a title of one that intrigues me I click on it and hope to find something interesting. Do I ALWAYS click on blogs that are quite obviously about sex? Well yeah, but that's NOT the point. The point is that sex blogs are something of an added bonus to becoming a blogger.

As with all blogs or the creating them you may or may not be getting the real story. You can be anyone online and nobody really seems to care if we're lied to so long as we're entertained.

Currently I am fascinated with the Small Town Sex Blog. I trust that this woman's tales and exploits (or lack thereof) are genuine, but wouldn't be surprised to find out that it is all bullshit. Regardless, I like the stories, the human drama involved...aw hell, I love hearing chicks that may or may not be hot talking dirty!

Having gone to a few different sex blogs I have to list this one as "The Good" because it seems so much more genuine and not just someone putting on a good show. Most sex blogs are either bad links to other sites or really horrible attempts at erotic literature. This blog is a great read and were I to be writing a sex blog I'd want it to be like this one. I'd love to ask this gal to do a link exchange but she seems to only be interested in other sex blogs so I will just sit and enjoy.

"The Bad" & "The Ugly" were made one the day I stumbled upon Lawrence's Ladies - Diary of a Porn Star. I'm not saying I wasn't entertained by this as it is too damn funny for words. Well, "funny" may not be the right word. How about "sad" instead? You'll check it out and see for yourself no doubt.

This horribly pale, poorly-tattooed guy won some sort of contest where he would get to BE a porn star for a day and maybe launch a new career. The catch? He must make it to the final pop-shot on film or suffer the consequence...get banged in the ass with a strap-on. At least its the hot porn chick doing the banging IF you fail to perform. That's still something, right?

How did it go? Well you can click on the video link at his blog - Oh wait! Let me just add this one HERE for ya.

I'm sure I'll find more fun stuff during my blogging career. I am still not quite certain why anyone would publish their sexual exploits for all the world to see. But then again, creating any sort of blog where you share a little or a lot of yourself is somewhat odd. I am sure that there are psyche students everywhere working on a thesis about this very thing.

Besides, who am I to talk? Check out this story I wrote for The Cheers about an experience I had after Prom Night called, "Hair of the Dog."

A Stupid Post

I just noticed that "blog" is "glob" backwards. Made me chuckle most of the day. Of course I had a few cocktails. I guess I noticed this when I realized that everyone these days must have some bizarre need to create a special twist or clever name when creating their blog.

My personal favorite...Captain's Blog. But I'm always ready to laugh at a good Shatner joke, even if everyone else in the world has thought of it already.

One Bloggy Evening: Another Damn Blog???

Yes indeed, there is yet another BLOG cloggin' up the World Wide Web. Why should my blog be any different from every other one in the world? Because I have no idea what I am doing nor do I know why I even need a damned blog!

I've been writing an awful lot for an online magazine called The Cheers as well as starting work for a new mag called Eklektikos. While I'd never fancied myself to be a writer before, I sure as hell hope I could be one now.

If you found this site through my website you know that I am a comedian, juggler, fire eater, plate spinner, etc. But "writer" is something of a new venture for me. Sure, I've written comedy routines and sketches in the past, but writing an actual column for a magazine or newspaper is just a foreign concept to me altogether. So when I started working for The Cheers I wasn't sure just how my little weekly dose of humor & commentary would go over with the general public.

As it happens, no fewer than SEVEN of my past articles have been included in the "Best of The Cheers" issue and I am very pleased to see some of my work gathering such positive responses from folks I don't even know. Whether or not this all means I CAN write or that I may one day sell any books is still up in the air. What I do know is that I'd like to help build the readership of any place stupid enough to publish my stories, and I certainly want to continue to build my own audience. One night I was introduced to the concept of blogging.

Blogs seem to be growing in popularity throughout the web and I see no reason why I shouldn't join the fold. I can use this place to promote my work, bring my writing to a wider audience, as well as just keep track of the nonsense that happens in my everyday life. PLUS, this place is FREE so how can I go wrong?

Anyway, please check out the above links and of course, check back to see how miserably I screw up all the easy-to-follow templates and instructions provided for me. I'm sure you'll all get a BIG laugh out of my incompetence. In theory I can add pictures, graphics, and all that stuff. For now, I'll be happy if I have no typos.

Oh yeah, if any of you are in Addison, IL and would like to come on out to see me at the Addison Days Festival, I'm there Friday through Sunday.

Later