Penguins In My Home

Well actually, these are penguins you can find in my car. I have no names for these guys resting in the back of my car, but I sometimes refer to them as Manny, Moe, & Jack. Of course I have also called them Moe, Larry, & Curly. Either way they are 3 of the 4 penguins I have traveling with me in my car at all times.

This photo was taken by my friend Kellie who is no stranger to the back seat of my car. Wait! That came out all wrong. Anyway, she and I had lunch a few months back and she took this photo.


Next I have to announce a new addition to the ever-growing penguin collection here in my home. Waiting in the mail for me today was a lovely little throw pillow, sent to me by Jade for no apparent reason.

I'm assuming she sent it my way because I've sent her Flying Penguinis, collector's cards, photos, and the March of the Penguins Activity Book and she felt guilty. She needn't have sent anything at all as her fan pics and the Andy Martello shrine are more than enough. Nonetheless, I now am the proud owner of a rather cute and comfy penguin throw pillow.

If I were more of a smart-ass I'd choose to look beyond the thoughtful gift and read some sort of hidden sexual agenda on the part of Jade. I mean, it is no secret she wants me big time and she does have a shrine "erected" in my honor. And really, all the signs are there. Penguins (something I love), a pillow (something to use in a bed - WAIT! This is a "throw" pillow. Uh huh.), a fart joke (something I would surely do to her after a night of carnal passion. The old Dutch Oven never turns off a lady, ya know.), it is all there. But, I am a gentleman and I choose to look at this only as a way cool present. ;)



One thing I am curious about though involves the pillow itself. Notice the above screen shot taken from the CafePress website. These penguins are shorter and more stout and squatty than the penguins seen on my actual pillow. My penguins are longer and more sleek.

Also, the name of the penguin in the back (the one wearing the red tie) asking, "Who Farted?", is named "Pop" on the website. MY penguin is named "Max". Max is surely a much cooler name, but what's the story behind this sudden artwork and name change? Was Max wanted by the law? Are shorter penguins somehow cuter and therefore appealing to a larger buying demographic? I MUST KNOW! No matter what the story, thanks, Jade. You made my day and you certainly didn't have to spend any moolah on me like that. You rock!

I other penguins news, "March of the Penguins" was the #10 film in the box office last week. It has finally started it's decline down the charts and should be now hitting the second-run theatres, making it even LESS expensive per ticket to see one of the best films of the year.

If you have not gone out and seen this film, I highly recommend doing so now. A cheap theatre price will be much less than a DVD rental or purchase and you'll still get to enjoy the majesty and beauty of the film on a big screen. I'm sure it will be a fine watch on a TV screen, but if you miss it on a big screen you miss a little something extra.

I find it hard to believe that you haven't seen this yet, but I do have some theories as to why some folks have foolishly been absent at the many screenings across the country.

• You can't figure out why a film about penguin migration is being so well received and, being something of a moron, also can't figure out that your questions will be answered by actually SEEING the film for yourself.
• You are a particularly cheap bastard and figure it HAS to come out on Animal Planet someday. Better for you would be if PBS decided to show it. That way you wouldn't have to actually pay for basic cable you miserly prick!
• You believe that there are never any high-quality films coming out of Hollywood and would rather spend your money on something that truly deserves all the attention like "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" or "Dukes of Hazard".
• You are a right-wing asshole and you wouldn't stop fucking your sister in the ass long enough to watch any film originally made in France. Lousy terrorist-loving,frog-bastards! Who do they think they are trying to make a movie and send it here? Go back to Canada or something where they appreciate folks who hate freedom and freedom fries!
• You are Jewish and hate to admit that there are creatures in the world that have suffered more than you.
• You're out seeing "The Aristocrats" instead. You get a pass from me if this is the case. It has held steady in the top 20 films since it's release and that makes me very happy.

In any event, I hope you do see this film one day. I am confident you will enjoy it. If not, you are a heartless freak with no soul. See you in HELL!

LOL!