Yellow Book Report: Part Three: Cheap & Unrealistic

Earlier this week I made a comment about how the people who are using the Yellow Book to contact me are cheap and unrealistic. OK, I used stronger language but after some mystery reader named Ken showed up and said I made him "feel special". I altered the post a bit to prevent too many hurt feelings and MAYBE not turn away potential clients.

It is funny though. Every so often new people come in here and get huffy when they find a less than corporate Andy than you'd find at my main website. They're all warned in advance. Whether or not they choose to read and believe the warning is up to them.

Hurt feelings or not, it seems that the majority of the people that have been responding to my Yellow Book ad have some rather LOW budgets and some extremely unreal expectations.

I've had three more calls since the last post.

One reflects people who actually did want to plan in advance, but had literally no money to spend. I started with my already low rate for such an event and then, after finding out their budget was merely $85.00 (Seriously?) I agreed to take the event should they wish to book. I felt like a whore, but I wanted SOMEONE to book from the Yellow Pages ad. Even bringing my price down to the point where I was losing money to do the show didn't work.

One was a spur of the moment, "Gee, I've already spent a ton on this big party in the hills, yet I have no entertainment" kind of call. He wanted a full-on 45-minute show complete with the fire-eating, the plate-spinning and so on. I quoted my rate for such a show - well, my rate from about 5 years ago, and told him I'd be willing to work with his budget since it was so last minute (two days out from the big party he'd been planning for months).

The third was a last-minute planner & someone who read the ad and called to ask about something I don't even provide, a moon bounce for her yard. Embarrassed by her mistake she chose to inquire about my entertainment services which resulted in a total freak out at the very inexpensive price I quoted. I cost considerably less than a moon bounce if you're wondering.

Again I ask, if you are looking to spend about $50.00 or less for entertainment, why would you choose to call the guy with the biggest and prettiest ad in the Yellow Book? I'm not saying there aren't people in the Yellow Pages who will charge practically nothing for a ton of entertainment because clearly, there are those under-cutting jerks out there. I'm just saying that it doesn't take long to find out many of the cheap acts don't have my skill set nor my performance record and the fact I'm willing to come down in price so much should be as much of a selling point as having a Ringling Bros. trained, 23-year seasoned performer who has opened for Gladys Knight, been seen on national TV, and performed for the President & Congress.

With all due respect to Ken, it is I who should have the hurt feelings.

"Party Planning Service" Category:
Four Calls, No Bookings

"Entertainment - Family" Category:
Two Calls, No Bookings
One "Moon Bounce" Request. WTF???

One day I'll find the right combination and get some bookings. At least the phone is ringing, right? Of course, none of this bodes well for the salesman next year when he tries to convince me to place another ad. Stay tuned.