In a Perfect World...
Not only would I get on Letterman, but my segment would be a wonderfully planned comedy sketch leading up to the plate-spinning.
Myself and Sylvester Stallone in a "Rocky" style training montage. Me as the surly old plate-spinner (in full-on hybrid vaudeville performer/Mickey the trainer garb) coaching Stallone on the fine art of plate-spinning. Rocky theme music blaring, plates breaking, maybe a cameo by Carl Weathers - brilliant! The topper? A parody of "Eye of the Tiger" titled, "Balls of the Juggler" performed by Jim Peterik himself.
Listen up, Letterman & CBS. I can even write a sketch for you. I know you've got your own writers back. I'm just saying...
Keep those cards and letters rolling in. They will be read. I will spin plates on CBS.
Many thanks to everyone who has played along with this little bit of nonsense.