Too Tired. Too Worried About Money. Too Much "BLAH" to Post.

So enjoy this timely and timeless (re)post from yours truly about Halloween costumes.

Please feel free to repost the link to this often.
I need someone (other than myself) to think I'm one funny mofo.

Halloween is Coming!

What's that? You Only Have One, Maybe Two Suits in Your Closet?
Here are 10 Different Halloween Costumes
YOU CAN CREATE Using Your Old Suits.
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Black Suit, Skinny Tie, Sunglasses, a Handgun
& Three or Four Friends Dressed the Same =

A Reservoir Dog

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Same Outfit as Before, "Space Age" Handgun
& Only Two Guys (One Being Black) =

A Man in Black

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Same Outfit, Black Hat, White Socks & No Handgun =

A Blues Brother
(This one works without a second person
but only if you have the hat.
Otherwise people think you're one of the
other characters with no friends)

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Same Outfit, Slightly Different Hat,
Long Beard & Curls,
No Tie & No Sunglasses =

Hasidic Jews
(Really, don't use this one as a Halloween costume.
I've no doubt that someone will take offense.
No sense of humor regarding fashion or Pagan holidays.
In fact, I'm probably going to Hell just for
putting the idea into your head)

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Same Outfit (Jacket Optional),
Straw Hat (if Preferred),
Blue, Gray, or White Shirt,
Vest & Suspenders, NO Curls =

Amish Farmer
(Go ahead and wear this one.
It's really unlikely you and some Amish farmer
will be attending the same party.
An upside to this one is that if you get
enough friends to wear the same costume,
you can build the barn where you'll have the party.)

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Same Outfit,
Shorter Beard,
Formal Coat, Vest & Bowtie,
Tall Black Top Hat (Optional) =

Abe Lincoln
(If you're a real asshole, put a big red hole
on the front of your head with some blood dripping down.
It is, after all, Halloween.)

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Modern Suit & Tie,
NO Beard,
Better Hair,
Same Public Office =

John F. Kennedy
(Sure, you can reuse the bullet hole joke with this one.
Wear the Lincoln Costume one year and the Kennedy one the next
and people will marvel at how similar your costumes are.
You can even add a pointing gesture
to look like you're campaigning!)

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Same Suit,
Lighter hair (Same Style),
Same Public Office,
No Hole =


Bill Clinton
(Well, not the SAME hole.)

LOOK! He's got a point too!)

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Same Suit,
Similar Hair,
Same Public Office,
Absolutely NO POINT WHATSOEVER =

A Retarded Monkey
(Although it is clear he HAS a hole in his head.)

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And for the Ladies...

Here's a Suit You Can Wear.