Off to West Virginia

Well, I'm off to Washington D.C. and then driving about 4 hours to my destination in West Virginia. Not sure why they chose that route for me, but so long as I'm not renting the car I'm fine with it all.

Believe it or not I'm actually nervous about this show. This has nothing to do with looking bad in front of Gladys Knight or anything. It has more to do with my not being on stage since some time this past August.

I'm nervous because I've felt so bloody awful about not being able to generate any work that when I finally do get a gig, I could royally suck. Worse, I could feel so elated and alive that I'll miss not working on stage even more than I do right now. Either way it makes me nervous, anxious, and desperate for some good to come from this move to Vegas.

A lot of things have not been resolved. Many private issues still need to be dealt with and some dreadful financial woes are looming in the distance. It doesn't help that I have two bills due today (bills I pay on the due date in person at the bank) but the fucking holiday prevents me from paying early on line or in person. Late fees. Great. Just what I need if I want to buy this fucking house some day.

Work (magic shop) is becoming a tad more "interesting" with the arrival of a new manager. I'd have thrown my hat in the ring since I've got more retail management (and more performance experience) than most everyone in the company, but I'm not all that eager to take the reins, own a set of keys, and deal with the headaches that come with the modest pay increase. plus, they didn't offer me the job. I am still very new there.

I SHOULD have an interview at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel later this week if all goes well. That could be great because I can work in the office and as a performer. There could be some flexibility and opportunity for bigger and better things. I was supposed to go for the interview Monday (today) but I'm on a plane, as you know. Let's see if they remember that we were supposed to chat when I call them this week. Let's hope even more that they like me and can hire me at a good rate. The magic shop gig just may get far too bullshitty in the very near future.

Again, this gig finds me overly angst-ridden. Am I rusty? Will this be my last gig for another few months? Will I ever work again as much as I once did? Will I do a great job and still not go over? This is all crap I NEVER thought I'd worry about again. I don't get nervous before most shows because I did so many for such a wide array of audiences (and did them WELL) I just take the stage and swing for the fences. Now...I'm scared.