I'll Take, "Complete Waste of Time" for $1,000, Alex

The mall marketing job I'd mentioned a few days ago, the one where the person somehow didn't get my resume via e-mail nor did she feel it necessary to reply to any of my voice mails & follow-up e-mails explaining she'd not received it - that job was filled.

Apparently, even while she was out and about at meetings and not receiving any e-mails nor returning phone calls, much less interviewing anyone for the job we kind of agreed I'd get to interview for, the position was suddenly and finally filled by someone within the company who'd only recently decided he or she wanted the job.

Am I angry? Kind of. Am I bitter? Fuck yeah, I am!

All my worry and anticipation over this could have been avoided if a simple phone call would have been returned. I did my part and I'm not the one with the cushy job with the cushy position allowing me to take several meetings and hire people. I e-mailed the resume as promised, and followed up with multiple phone calls IMMEDIATELY. if she didn't receive the damned thing she could simply have checked her voice mail and called me back. Instead, weeks go by and I'm stuck without the prospect of a 35K/year gig and plenty of fake vomit and trick decks of cards to sell.

That's how my day started. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you...I filled that job that was going to save your life."

Next, the prestigious event planning company where I had scheduled a meeting with the owner on Wednesday, the place that was not only supposed to be talking to me regarding potential entertainment work but also about the prospects of my working in the office - they gave me the total brush off in every way.

Sure, I'm "in their system" now, but that was not at all what this meeting was to be about. Yes, I want my promo in their files and I certainly want them to call me for work. That being said, the person who brokered this meeting billed me as as a fantastic agent/producer/office worker as well as a kick-ass entertainer and THAT was why I went after the contact so hard.

When I got there, not only was the owner (the person whom I'd made the appointment with) completely unaware of my appointment and uncertain as to why I needed to speak to her directly, but the prospect of my working there as my "day job" was not even discussed. I was made to fill out their lame paperwork that explained everything that is in my press kit and DVD, interviewed by some flunky that had no intention of talking to me for more than 5 minutes IN THE LOBBY, and I had the pleasure of meeting the owner and speaking with her for all of 30 seconds.

I took the day off work for this shit? I could have been paid to hate my life a bit more than just doing it for free.

Yes, I am closer to actually getting booked by this group than I was before (assuming they don't read this and figure out I am talking about them). That's the good thing I suppose. Of course I still have more crap to send them...because my press kit (overly abundant with information and photos) doesn't seem to have just enough info for their cookie-cutter roster of talent where all the comedians and jugglers are in the same pile as the actors, the models, the musicians...

I have just about had it with Vegas! If I wanted to live in a place where entertainment is everywhere, but nobody answers their phone, nobody talks to you, and nobody treats you with any respect I'd have moved to fucking New York or L.A..

I can't even try and give it all up and move back because we just got here and we're so broke I'm probably going to have to get a second or third job...assuming anybody will return their fucking calls, read my damned resume, and actually be there for the interview.

Hey, Universe...the same Universe that facilitated this move to our dream home in a far away land? I'm still waiting for that justification for all the crap to arrive. I know these things take time, but the bills are not stopping and the few gigs I've booked aren't going to really cover them. I can only do so much, especially when this was supposed to be "fate" and "divine will" and all that crap. Some of this is on YOU.

I can't stop crying from the disappointment today. Even the 20-40 mph winds today couldn't provide a gust to fill my sails.

I have been so depressed today I couldn't truly enjoy the wetlands park nor the pinball machine museum we visited today. I even turned down sex because I knew that wouldn't cheer me up. ME!

The worst part is, I know what "bottom" feels like and I haven't even grazed that yet, but I can see it from here. The end is near.

Have a great day.

Oh yeah, Kimmy, hubby, and friend will be here soon. I can't wait to put on my happy face and pretend I'm a fun person to be around. I really am looking forward to meeting them (honestly I am), but I'm too miserable to get up in the morning. This overly persistent cold isn't helping either.