Frustrating (More Updates)

I'm trying not to completely lose it, but it is becoming apparent that I may have made some grave miscalculations.

Job interviews...One went extremely well and they offered me a job which I then had to turn down because the money she offered me mysteriously disappeared after she'd already offered it. Much LESS money and even she was angry about the situation. She even told me, "I wouldn't take the job if I were you" and she works for this company.

One job, some kind of marketing gig (which was likely a scam) didn't pan out at all.

The other interview went well, but nothing came from it.

So, I was about to call up the place that offered me a job that was somewhat, but not really entertainment related when a phone call came in for a real marketing job, one that would probably pay pretty well and give me some much needed flexibility. We spoke on the phone, she asked me to send her the resume and wait out the Labor Day weekend for a scheduled interview. I did and nothing happened. No phone call (yet) and not much time left.

Some positive responses to press kits starting to happen, but no gigs in the immediate future. So no money.

Regardless of the situation I turned down the high-paying job that I would hate (and hate myself for taking) simply because...well I'd end up killing myself for taking it, even though it was THE responsible thing to do.

Today, an interview with one of the casinos for a mildly boring, average-paying job. At this point what the heck, right? Interview went VERY well. So well that they reviewed some of the other jobs I'd applied for at the same company (one of which being in the special events department...could be the right fit AND a worthy "real job" in case I never really work again as an entertainer). It was determined that while I could work the other jobs, I would "be a valuable asset" in the special events department and she was going to forward my resume to the appropriate person. GOOD NEWS! Of course, it will likely take 10 days to two weeks to get a response, though it could be much sooner. BAD NEWS!

I'm going to call the place that has a standing offer for me. The one that is sort of, but not really entertainment-related and see how quickly I can start working and start earning.

I'm OUT of cash officially this week. I just put in another humbling request for money from mom and I am thankful she can help. I'm probably going to have to ask April's mom for some cash as well because, as April pointed out, it may take two weeks before I get an actual paycheck. All the while, I will hope that the casino special events gig comes in and hope even harder that it can pay some bills. I don't want to take a job and quit a few weeks later, but I have no choice but to take a job (assuming that standing offer didn't sit down by now).

So, if you're keeping score...I'm about to break not one, but two mothers financially because I didn't just take a job right away. I'm no closer to any entertainment work, at least nothing tangible other than some nice comments and hearty handshakes. I've upset my wife by unnecessarily putting this kind of monetary pressure on us. I was happy about the prospect of working, only to find out I'm not working, only to again be given the hope of working, only to...you get the idea. I was just as excited about the potential casino gig this afternoon so I called my mom and asked for a loan to cover the possible two weeks worth of waiting, only to realize that I may not have asked for enough cash AND given how the job thing seems to go here in Vegas...I really shouldn't be excited at all.

So...while I know that I'll look back on this one day as a minor inconvenience and I know that this move is still the best thing we ever did...I'm miserable realizing that I am much more of a failure than I once thought. I mean, we're not here three or four months yet and already I'm thinking that I'll be bankrupt before Christmas. And I want to buy this house? I can't even keep the plants alive!

Yes I know...I'm overreacting and being overly dramatic. You don't have my bills and you don't know how much it kills me to let my wife down so please, as always, bear with me.