I Know I've Been Sick...

I know that I haven't even touched a dart in about two weeks and can't expect miracles. That being said, I'm really starting to hate playing in this dart league. I am almost 37 years old. I have no need to compete with anyone nor do I have a need to play worse than my actual skill level and look like an idiot in front of other people.

I have no problems with losing, especially when I am actually beaten by a better player or in a good match. When I lose a match simply because I suck, I quickly realize I have nothing to learn and nothing to gain by making a fool of myself for no reason.

I thought I'd make friends. I'm not really doing that. I am meeting people, but I really doubt there will be any lasting friendships here.

I thought it would be good to do something social and interactive. I was wrong. About all I'm doing is spending more money on beer and getting fat in the process.

I thought it would be good to put myself in some humbling situations and try to take my game to a higher level by challenging myself. So far, I have no reason to believe I was even in y right mind when I came up with such an asinine concept. What do you learn by making a fool of yourself often? You learn that you don't like looking foolish. I could have come to that conclusion myself. in fact I am certain I figured that one out when I was about 3 years old.

Maybe I need sleep. Maybe I need to stop thinking about it so much. Maybe I need to practice more when I am feeling better. Maybe I need to stop being so hard on myself and maybe I am the one putting pressure on these friendly games. The again, maybe I learned all my lessons about competition a long time ago when I stopped playing organized sports and chose a profession that provides me with all the pressure, competition, and humiliation one man can stand.