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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Seriously...Listen Up, Hollywood!

I know that you can't seem to come up with an original idea and therefore, you MUST make a billion clones of a good thing for fear that the next good thing isn't any good at all. I get it. We're all stupid. Way dumber than you are. in fact we're more dubmer than you are (note the poor grammar, the misspelling, and lack of proper capitalization...dumber).

That being said, EVERY damn "talent" show you come up with, every reality program where someone is competing for something and subjected to the will of an "expert" panel, those shows do not all have to...

A) have the panel in the first place B) feature one asshole (likely foreign, probably British), one ethnic guy, and one nice person C) involve singing and/or dancing D) make people call in to decide the fate

Really. We get it. American Idol makes a lot of money. All other similar shows need not necessarily be exactly like that one program.

Yes, the new show where people pick the next stars of "Grease" on Broadway is total genius. It copies American Idol in every way AND it caters to the fetish market of sad, pathetic women who love reality shows and can't seem to break free from the stereotype by hating "Grease". I don't care. You could have made this show without making it the same as every other show out there.

By the way, what is it with chicks and "Grease" anyway? I really need to know. It's like the tides it is so predictable. Women love "Grease" and they all pretend they're as cool as Rizzo but in reality are as annoying as Frenchie and as pathetically boring as Sandy.

So someone out there, fess up. Is there some sort of meeting you attend when you're about 8 years old, presumably in school just before the talk about your changing bodies, where you are told about your insane love for this musical? Are you issued a copy of the soundtrack and DVD along with the doctrine explaining that you must all show equally illogical love for "Brown Eyed Girl", "I Will Survive" and Oprah Winfrey? I just gotta know.


Blogger golfwidow said...

When I saw the picture of Rizzo the Rat, I thought you were gonna snap on America's Next Top Muppet.

4:16 AM

Blogger sue said...

I'm just NOT into "reality" shows... of any way, shape or form. I get much too much reality in my day-to-day life!

8:48 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

for the record I don't like Grease, Oprah, Brown Eyed Girl OR I Will Survive.

I have no idea why so many women like these things! I also don't like the Lifetime channel, the home shopping networks and, well, children. lol

and I've checked several times...I do NOT have a penis!!

11:51 AM

Blogger Andy Land said...

You'd best let me be the judge of that, Dawn. I'll give you a THOROUGH examination.

11:57 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somethings just ARE! But if I have to explain it to you... Grease teaches us a) to love bad boys, b) sluts are cool, c) bad boys love sluts more than they like cheerleaders (unless they are slutty cheerleaders). Also, I don't think my parents realized that the song "Greased Lightning" containted the phrase "pussy wagon". Even YOU gotta love that?

8:53 AM

Blogger Andy Land said...

Nope. We all knew about the bad boy thing without Grease. Youre explanations don't help at all because women don't do too much applying of thier knowlegde otherwise.

Of course, the pussy wagon thing is always fun.

9:24 AM


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