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Monday, November 13, 2006

Ten Things Tuesday: Jokes I Didn't Write About Robots

I've been busy preparing for a showcase for the Suburban Parks & Recreation Association which is today. So I honestly haven't given any thought to a Ten Things Tuesday list. Thankfully, my friend Kellie sent me some jokes about robots written by some guy named J. Alex Boyd. I liked them. I laughed. I'm pimping them out here.

Maybe later in the wek I'll write my own Ten Things list. Until then, enjoy...


JOKES MADE BY ROBOTS, FOR ROBOTS

BY J. ALEX BOYD

- - - -

A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.

A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he'd like anything. The robot replies, "A soul."

How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?
You don't.

"Waiter! Waiter! What's this robot doing in my soup?"
"It looks like he's performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain."

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A robot.
Oh, shit.

What's the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?
The gnawing jeers of men.

What's a robot's favorite cereal?
Rob-os.
(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)

Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, "Why did you do that?" She replies, "I wanted to see time fly!" The robot says, "Ah ... A perfect subject for elimination," and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.

Why did the robot order a milkshake?
To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a robot.

3 Comments:

Blogger Bud said...

Hope your show goes well, Andy!

3:56 AM

 
Blogger golfwidow said...

A robot rolls into an agent's office and says, "Run program."

Immediately an LCD screen on the robot's midsection begins displaying a digitized video of the most disgustingly raunchy father-son-grandson incestuous pornography the agent has ever witnessed.

"Stop!" the agent shouts. "What the hell kind of robot are you?!"

The robot replies, "Aristocrat-3000."

3:59 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those were corny :)
I still laughed though

7:27 AM

 

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