Ten Things Tuesday: Things Your Hairdresser Should Never Say

• I know the doctor told me I should wait until the shakes and the D.T.s completely went away before returning to work, but I've got bills to pay.
• It's a good thing you're wearing a red shirt. Nobody will see the stain.
• I actually make more money grooming dogs, but they don't tip for shit.
• Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?
• WHOOPS!
• You know, my job isn't all that different from a Rabbi's.
• Don't worry. If you keep your head tilted to the left for about 3 weeks nobody will know the difference.
• Shame we don't use nitris oxide here. Much easier to fondle the customers that way.
• I'd have sworn you asked for a crew cut.
• Look on the bright side. Now that your earlobe is shorter you can wear longer, more dangly earrings. Well, one longer earring at least.