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Monday, June 19, 2006

Ten Things Tuesday: Things You DIDN'T Read in "THE INTERVIEW"

  • I just laugh at the prospect of Pat Boone popping up on a guy's shoulder and yelling, "F#%$ her!"
  • I reckon there will come a day when I don't want to set my face on fire for money.
  • A group called Intense Mutilation turned the relatively tame original lyrics about a sailor who misses his girlfriend into those that graphically describe soliciting fellatio from a prostitute.
  • Most of the girls I've dated had way more psychosis in their veins than a guy with many versions of the same song.
  • You two could have a regular geek-off discussing the subtleties of aircraft design.
  • Rock stars are tagging 8, 10 women and a few farm animals a week on top of those durable, high-performance amplifiers.
  • At the end of that run I did a really low-paying show at a retirement community where one guy yelled the whole time about how badly he had to pee. I was "nobody" again.
  • I was...uh...sexually pleased orally by a lovely woman in the parking lot at a New Year's Eve booking. That was certainly "memorable".
  • Not that I would condone using alcohol to get a lady a little more in the mood, unless Pat Boone popped up on my shoulder and told me to do it.
  • Really, you just can't do doggy-style on a Peavy, can you?

These are just a few items you missed due to proper editing in order to preseve a good reputation. Since my reputation sucks ass, tune in tomorrow for a "Director's Cut" version of "THE INTERVIEW, With Andy Martello".

5 Comments:

Blogger Bud said...

I think doggy style on a Peavy is possible if she just uses the front paws. I'll have to check that out and report back.

5:30 AM

 
Blogger Webmiztris said...

wow, a blowjob in the parking lot...you're like a rock star or something! did she have to work her way up through your roadies? ;)

9:29 AM

 
Blogger golfwidow said...

I think we ought to set aside a day this year where we all pimp out Fender amps on Michael's behalf. Or, better yet, a month. Where every post we do gives Fender a different reason why they ought to give Michael an amp.

11:02 AM

 
Anonymous E.P. said...

Let's see.... "pleased orally by a lovely woman in the parking lot at a New Year's Eve booking." So, I'm guessing it WASN'T a dissertation on quantum theory? Perhaps a 30 minute speech on world peace in the new milenium?

EP
(with way too many versions of a certain 3 chord rock and roll song)

11:33 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Dawn, since I'm self-employed, I am my own roadie, my manager, my publicist, and so on. So I can say that this girl did in fact blow my entire staff, in every sense of the word.

Rock star? I WISH! They have health insurance.

Eric, I am so thankful that quantum physics were not a part of my New Year's Eve. Nowhere nearly as much fun.

I'm all for getting a bloggerthon for Michael's amp. The internets have been used for more stupider things.

Bud...you get back to me with your reasearchon this issue.

10:17 PM

 

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