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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ten Things Tuesday: Good Things About Turning 36

Great.  One year closer to dying.

  • "36" is the first number in "36-24-36".
  • Everyone older than you actually believes that you are still young.
  • There are relatively few gag gifts for a 36 year old.
  • You can save on your energy bill by using the candles on your birthday cake for reading and cooking.
  • You don't care what people think about you because nobody IS thinking about you.
  • You're still 4 years away from being told, "You look good...for your age."
  • It will be YEARS before anyone notices your Parkinson's or Alzheimer's symptoms.
  • You have a ways to go before you mysteriously receive AARP info in the mail.
  • Celebrate your 36th birthday by sleeping with two 18 year old girls.
  • X-Ray vision and super-human strength.

I know, I know. I'm just kidding.

There are no good things about turning 36.

7 Shopping days left til my birthday!

16 Comments:

Blogger Kim said...

Very subtle. Nice.

5:21 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

I do what I can, Kim. :)

8:19 AM

 
Blogger Jade said...

Hmmm....and I thought turning 33 in a few weeks was a good thing....you've got me beat all to hell! ;-)

Thanks for the hint too! I guess I've got an excuse to go shopping now!

8:20 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

OOH! My birthday list was last week's Ten Things Tuesday list. lol

But see, since I'm older I'll always look at you and think you're a young babe. Just remember, I'm OLD and probably delusional. I'm crapping myself right now.

lol

8:36 AM

 
Blogger Webmiztris said...

me and my husband already receive AARP stuff in the mail! is somebody trying to tell us something???

9:33 AM

 
Blogger Glenn Bishop "Bish The Magish" said...

Your still a kid Andy. I hit the big 50 this year.

One or two things about getting old that is the first thing to go is memory. And I can't remember what the other two things are.

Oh yeah, one good turn gets - most of the covers.

Happy Birthday Andy.

From Glenn Bishop

10:29 AM

 
Blogger Kelly said...

I'm stuck on this 36-24-36 thing~~(ok, so I'm a slooooow reader)~~ but does that mean you're a 'chest' man vs a 'butt' man?~~ or is it all about the numbers?

I'll come back and wish you a Happy Birthday WHEN I read that far ahead and realize it's YOUR BIRTHDAY in 36.7 days. Haven't gotten that far yet. Remember???~~~ slooooww reader. ( I love helping out with early Alheimers) ;)

10:31 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Yeah, but Glenn...everyone knows you're OLD! Like, there's pigeon crap on you from being a statue for so long. :)

Ba-dum-BUMP!

Howdy, Kelly! Welcome to Andy Land! How did you come to find this chunk of cyberspace? I'm reading your blog right now. I must say, you give me hope that 36 ain't so bad.

Well, anyone that knows me, especially the ladies that know me, will tell you that I am not a breast man, a butt man, a leg man, etc. I am a ladies man! ;)

That is to say, I likey da ladies and can find many an intriguing and interesting thing about most any part on any woman.

The 36-24-36 thing just made for a good joke as the Ten Things Tuesday list tends to me more of my humor writing than anything else. Plus, 36-24-36 is the gold standard of measurements, at least in the minds of most men, which as we know, is frequently wrong about something or another.

All I know is that it was the magic sequence of figures burned in my memory since I was old enough to know about such things. It's even immortalized in the song, Brick House.

Perhaps your modeling background suggests something else, but to the average dumb guy, 36-24-36 is as important to us as our Social Security Number or any sports stat you can name.

5:19 PM

 
Blogger Kelly said...

WOW!! I didn't know there was going to be a test!!! I would have payed more attention when I followed the trail to your blog. Dang, now I can't remember how I got here. :(

Aha!! Now I remember~ Michael Manning! :)

What a lovely explanation you gave me about your fixation with the numbers 36-24-36~~You keep being a ladies man, darling and I'm sure the 'Numbers' will fall in place for you. ;)

6:00 PM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

LOL.

Not fixated. Just using an easily recognizable cultural term to create humor.

But that explanation is not as long nor as interesting.

8:38 PM

 
Anonymous Kim said...

Thirty Six was good! Forty however, brought me some unwanted chin hair. Now most men would be grateful to wakeup to chin hair but being as I'm not a man, the hair was not a blessing at all!

2:22 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Aw, Kim, the chin hair thing could just be a Canadina thing as opposed to a 40 thing. LMAO!

I've been battling with unwanted ear hair for a few years now. I maintain and keep it under control, but I'm certain that one day I'll just morph into a gorilla and be done with the hair removal thing.

Do good to see you here again. Hope to see you more often.

8:59 AM

 
Blogger Glenn Bishop "Bish The Magish" said...

Yeah, but Glenn...everyone knows you're OLD! Like, there's pigeon crap on you from being a statue for so long. :)

Ba-dum-BUMP!
..................

And it was the pigeon crap that made megive up doing dove magic.

9:06 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

LOL!

9:30 AM

 
Blogger golfwidow said...

36 is also the last number in 36-24-36.

I think the best thing about you turning 36 is that you're doing it before I am.

8:27 PM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Now that's funny...and pretty mean...I wanna hug something.

lol

11:47 PM

 

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