Woke Up this Morning...

There will be no phone calls to my house after 8PM central time. If you try to call the phone will be turned off. I will field no comments, read no e-mails, and give not two shits about you or anyone wanting to talk to me tonight. The Sopranos is finally back and my life will be better because of it.

If you interrupt me from this, I will hate you with every fiber of my being for the rest of your days. The skies will open and I will rain down a fiery hell storm of loathing upon you and I will murder your dog. Your heirs will suffer my wrath. I will cast a shadow of resentment so large your dead grandparents will feel a might colder.

Now that we understand each other...


For the last few seasons April and I have made it something of a tradition to make from scratch a pasta sauce and create a wonderful Italian meal to share right at the start of the show. Last year was the first time I broke out the slow cooker for the sauce and I plan on repeating the procedure today. I believe I made the pasta from scratch last year as well. Perhaps that will happen again today.

In any event, I am happy to have no gig today and pleased to announce that one of the best shows ever created will FINALLY be returning to my screen.

OH, by the way, if you are one of those morons who makes claims that the show hasn't been as good from season to season or bitches about too much of the story being given to Tony's actual family and not "the family", or worse, one of those knuckle-dragging pricks that says things like, "I just wanna see people get whacked", you will always be on my shit list.

You have missed the point of the show entirely and it is very likely you still move your lips when you read (and I'm being VERY generous when I make the assumption you know how to read). You are probably the guy who never gets the joke, needs someone to explain the endings to classic stories, and can't figure out why Joe Pesci isn't in everything. You should have nothing to say on this day as you are a babbling, drooling, twit and I'll have none of your spittle wafting its way in my direction.

Am I being harsh? FUCK YEAH! But I will say, in fairness to the idiots out there, everyone has a right to the WRONG OPINION! If you are one of the aforementioned people you have the wrong opinion of this great program. And before you try that lame argument, "If it is an opinion how can it be wrong?" let me just say this, Hitler had some pretty strong "opinions". Are you really prepared to hold so fast to your under-thought opinion-gushing colander of a brain you have there?

Do you simply not like the show? I'm totally fine with that. That's a valid opinion. Just don't give me any crap trying to make yourself seem too cool for school here.

Anyway, I'm watching The Sopranos tonight and every Sunday night unless I have a gig. I am also hopeful that their new show, Big Love, will be as entertaining as most all of the original programs HBO has given us over the years. So don't plan on talking to me. I'm watching "my stories".