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Monday, March 20, 2006

Ten Things Tuesday: BAD Fortune Cookies, A.K.A., Misfortune Cookies

I Always get this one.

  • Today is the LAST day of the rest of your life.
  • My dad can beat up your dad.
  • Confucius Say, “Pay your fucking bill and leave, already!”
  • While man waste time at buffet I give my “Sweet & Sour Pork” to his wife.
  • What did you expect, some chick's phone number? GODDAMN, boy! Quit looking into baked goods for guidance, you putz!
  • Learn to speak Chinese. 疱疹 , “pàozhěn” = Herpes
  • Today you will win one million dollars! OK, I was just fucking with you. Now that I have your attention, you’ve really got cancer.
  • The Cubs will not win the World Series this year either.
  • If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence you might live next to Motörhead.
  • “Peking Duck” is code for “Chef who wears no pants”.

Thanks to Golfwidow for the suggestion.
This completes the Golfwidow Trilogy. ;)
Please leave suggestions for future Tuesday lists in the
comments field or e-mail me with your ideas.


Blogger Bud said...

GW is always an inspiration!

4:46 AM

Anonymous Kellie said...

These were totally funny Andy. Thanks again to you and April for hanging with me on St. Patrick's Day.

6:59 AM

Blogger Andy Land said...

Hey Kellie, thanks for buying dinner! You know, if you buy us dinner you're buying our friendship. ;)

Yeah Bud, GW rocks. Plain & simple. She rocks.

8:21 AM

Blogger golfwidow said...


You didn't get my favorite cookie fortune though, so you've got that going for you.

("That? Wasn't chicken.")

2:54 AM

Blogger Andy Land said...

I had that fortune written, GW. However when i was looking for a photo o a fortune cookie to insert my 11th phrase I found many images of the chicken one. I try to be original with these things so I pitched it.

7:24 AM


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