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Monday, February 20, 2006

Ten Things Tuesday: Things You Shouldn't Read on a Headstone

  • Andy Martello's HeadstoneI found your cat!
  • Ummm...you're standing on my nuts.
  • Come closer. I'm trying to look up your skirt.
  • With all eternity to reflect upon my life, I've come to realize that you're still a rotten, asshole of a son.
  • Soylent Green is people, the chick in "The Crying Game" has a dick, and Rosebud was a sled. Get a fucking life!
  • I know what you did last summer.
  • Dude! Right now, I'm ACTUALLY skull-fucking your grandmother!
  • HELL! Hell is for children.
  • Maggots get a lot of bad press. You know, they can reach ALL the nooks and crannies. Better than your frigid bitch of a mother ever could.
  • Listen carefully. Murder, THEN suicide!

7 Comments:

Blogger Bud said...

Yeah, your stone is perfect, Andy. I'll have to start thinking of that.

4:33 AM

 
Anonymous Older, Wiser Brother said...

I intend to be cremated before my wake, have my ashes in a mason jar and an endless loop cassette tape of me saying "Thank you for coming. Don't I look peaceful? Don't I look natural? Didn't they do a wonderful job?"

4:41 AM

 
Blogger sue said...

HA! I love it.

6:37 AM

 
Blogger Lord Gotwa said...

Hey!

I just heard your name on the Bob and Tom show. They're apparently looking for someone to spin plates at a future Christmas party.

Just thought you'd like to know.

7:37 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Really? Interesting. I'll look into it. Many thanks, Gotwa, or should I call you, Lord?

;)

7:44 AM

 
Blogger golfwidow said...

Here, to the best of our knowledge, lies Golf Widow.
Hatched 1971.
Matched 2002.
Dispatched 2006.

9:24 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

That's a good one, GW. Though I am not fond of the dispatched date...unless you're leaving your penguin & Monty Python items to me. ;)

9:55 AM

 

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