Ten Things Tuesday: Pick-Up Lines that NEVER Work

• Excuse me, I can’t seem to put my mouth around my penis. Would you see if you can do it with your mouth?
• Did you know that crabs don’t just go away if you ignore them? Not even after a year.
• If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you fuck the ever-livin’ crap out of me with it?
• Do you have any self-esteem issues?
• I love movies. You ever see “Taxi Driver”? Jodie Foster was in that. She was playing some underage hooker. HOT! She was also in a flick with Dennis Hopper called “Backtrack” where she was kidnapped by Hopper, and then gets all hot for him & fucks the shit out of him. She was wearing black stockings and a garter belt & all that hot Frederick’s of Hollywood-hooker shit. You see that one? How about that one where Jodie Foster gets nailed on a pinball machine? Man that was cool. Not quite the hooker vibe I was going for but a very good film nonetheless.
• You know, in this light, you look just like my mom.
• Look at you - totally out of every man’s league, except mine.
• Hi. I’m Andy.
• Come on, don’t say, “No” so quickly. It's not liked I asked you for anal or anything.
• The human head weighs eight pounds. No, really. I have one in my bag.