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Sunday, December 04, 2005

Mastodons in Illinois

It is cold and a little snowy today and my toes have not quite thawed from buying our Christmas tree at the Cosley Zoo last night. So I've decided to go through the crap on my hard drive and see if there are any photos from a warmer day in 2005. Indeed there are!

April meets a mastodon.Earlier this summer April and I made a trip to nearby Aurora, IL. We'd heard that there was not only a brand new outlet mall there, but also a beautiful park, a small zoo, and a gallery of mastodon fossils.

I've been to Aurora several times. I've worked in Aurora, shopped in Aurora, gambled in Aurora and this was the first I was hearing about any dinosaur fossils. I would have been just as happy to see a new little zoo, but MASTODONS? Hell, yeah!

In 1934, mastodon bones were found in Aurora during a Civil Works Administration Project. Sure enough, the beatiful park, known as Phillips Park, features a gallery of the massive mastodon bones, a lovely sunken garden, and the Philips Park Zoo. If somehow they could have put the outlet mall in Phillips Park I think April would have fainted.

Today I'll share some photos I took of the fossils. If it stays cold I'll have some garden and zoo photos in the coming posts.

Heh, heh, heh.  He said, 'NIPPLE TOOTH!'
When you arrive at the park and visitor's center you are greeted by a statue commemorating the finding of the giant beasts back in 1934. The statue is nice enough, but the plaque in front of the statue makes the whole trip worthwhile. Click the above photo to find out why (HINT: It has something to do with the phrase, "Nipple Tooth")

NOT the jawbone of an ass.Once inside the visitor's center you are treated to some rather amazing examples of Earth's history. There are a couple of mastodon skulls, jaw bones, leg bones, and even the infamous "nipple teeth".



Maybe phrases like, "nipple teeth", are the real reason why so many religious morons are afraid of concepts like dinosaurs and evolution. I mean, they're vTUSK YOU!ehemently opposed to sex in every way (unless you, a married Republican couple in your 30's, plan on doing it only to procreate and you PROMISE to never enjoy the act nor experiment with positions). Nipples do play a part in sex (if done right). Add the whole nipple tooth thing and you've got a perfect arguement for "intelligent design". Freaks.

Dem BonesThese are just some of the many cool fossils found at the Phillips Park Mastodon Gallery. There are other exhibits of Aurora's ancient past at the Sci-Tech Interactive Science Museum, and there are frequent studies and digs happening throughout the area in order to learn more about prehistoric Illinois.

The great thing about this little chunk of Illinois is that when you are done with the mastodons, you still have a very large and happy park, an adorable zoo, and a beautiful sunken garden to explore. All these things are in the same location and they can provide anyone with a fun and memorable afternoon.

I'm so WASTED!

3 Comments:

Blogger Bud said...

Mastadon means nipple tooth? Yeah, I guess that's right. Who would have thought fossils could be so erotic?

11:45 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Prehistoric erotica. Nice!

12:51 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way cooool!! Thank you for sharing the info and pictures.

3:07 PM

 

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