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Saturday, November 19, 2005

Now That I'm a Pimp...

Let Your Flippers Do the Walking!Perhaps the Flying Penguinis will not have to resort to such measures in order to get some action. I know that I will be able to provide some high-quality entertainment for the little guys.

I mean, really now, are any of the ladies in the hooker cards ACTUALLY going to be the ones who show up at your hotel room? Hell no! I saw one card that had an old modeling photo of Tera Patrick on it. If I thought I could get Tera Patrick to my hotel for $69.00 I'd wear out the buttons on the ATM machine.

When I get my starter crack and my stable of hookers I'll be sure to provide you the exact lady for your enjoyment. Sure they'll be drug-addicted, but I'll make sure they're HOT!

OK, this may be getting out of hand. Maybe I'm just jealous of the Penguinis for having the coin necessary to bring so many ladies to the room.



Don't ask what the pinecone is for.

2 Comments:

Blogger sue said...

My, MY! They really are little pervs, aren't they?... (...and you tried to tell me it was because they were in Iowa... yeah, right.)
This explains a LOT, Andy... really...

8:16 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

No, Sue. I never blamed the your Penguini's behavior on being in Iowa. I blamed the haste they took in expressing their bad habits on being in Iowa.

All Penguinis drink and womanize relentlessly. Most of them wait a little bit to put their "masters" at ease before busting loose. Your Penguinis took one look at the endless miles of nothingness accented with corn fields and said, "Fuck it! We're drinking NOW!"

Even Penguinis have their limits.

;)

9:28 AM

 

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