Nobody Ever Believes Me

I may not be right ALL the time, but I am right MOST of the time. Anyone who ever says otherwise can fuck right off.

Congrats to the White Sox.

I thank the heavens that I have divorced myself from the Major Leagues and my once favorite team, the Cubs. Last year I was in tears watching the Red Sox win the World Series. I cried because I knew I'd never see the Cubs as the champions. I knew that one year later I'd have to endure seeing a White Sox victory. I knew it then and I had an entire year to prepare.

No tears today. A little disappointed? Sure. However I am happier for the White Sox and the city of Chicago than I am upset at it all.

I will never allow the Cubs and their idiot fans to hold their heads in the sky for any reason. If the Cubs won the whole damn thing next year I wouldn't give a damn. If the Cubs won EVERY World Series for the next 10 years I'd never forgive them for robbing me and millions of others of their childhood.

I cannot let them forget that my father died (with his Die Hard Cubs Fan membership card) never having enjoyed a Cubs World Series victory. The list of people who ran out of "next years" waiting for the Cubs to get their heads out of their asses will never stop growing and I hate the Cubs for their crimes against humanity.

They stand alone, once and for all, as the ONLY losers in all of sports. They alone are the worst "professional" sports team in the history of organized competition. They have nobody to share their misery with any longer and they have only themselves to blame.

The fans of such a team are just as pathetic. Any TRUE Cubs fan would be leaping head-first from the rooftops at Waveland & Sheffield in the wake of a White Sox World Series victory. A TRUE Cubs fan would not look at the last two years as proof that anything can happen, but as proof that supporting a team like the Cubs is possibly the most awful and pointless act of frivolity ever. A TRUE Cubs fan would not arrive in record numbers at Wrigley Field knowing that the White Sox won a World Series before the Cubs. A TRUE Cubs fan would be devastated by this and consider moving out of the Chicagoland area, head hung in shame.

Luckily, I watch real baseball now, played by real teams. The Joliet Jackhammers, the Kane County Cougars, the Schaumburg Flyers, the Gary South Shore Railcats, the Windy City Thunderbolts, the Rockford Riverhawks, and the Beloit Snappers are ALL more worthy of a hard-earned dollar than the Chicago Cubs.

Once again, congratulations, White Sox. Well done! Chicago is the greatest city in the world, even though half of it is too scary to be out after 6 PM. No matter, Chicago has a WORLD CHAMPION once again.