And Yet, No Readers

While checking my stats today I found someone discovered my blog by typing in the question, "What is funny to read in blog universe?". Of course I can't imagine such a long and complete sentence being used in a Google search, but nonetheless someone did indeed ask the question.

As it happens the "answer" to such a Google question has Andy Land in the TOP THREE of the 2,700,000 possible websites listed. Now that's very cool indeed.

Sadly I don't even register if you type in "What is FUN to read in the Blog universe?" That must add to the ongoing explanation as to why I have so few readers and comments.

I'm funny, but I'm no fun. Funny how the blog universe reflects real life. No fun seeing the truth played out online.

I'm a man with few friends. I have many acquaintances, professional and personal, but I have maybe two or three friends. Random phone calls to see how I'm doing from my friends are rare. Get-togethers and social visits are practically nonexistent. Few people, if any, are ever around to offer me advice when I need it most. Turnouts for some of my bigger shows hardly ever have any of my friends in the audience.

And yet, I'm good for a laugh or two.

I'm frequently told how funny I am and what a great guy I am. I guess I'm good at a party, but not all that good to have around otherwise. In fact I go to more parties than anyone I know. Unfortunately I'm never an invited guest. I'm a paid performer. Good for the career, bad for the self esteem.

It's no big deal. I don't like me that much either and certainly understand not wanting to have me around. I can be opinionated, depressing, needy, and obnoxious. Why would you want to interact with that after you got the laugh you needed?

I spend a lot of time online reading blogs. There are about 10 to 15 must read blogs for me, and many that I peck at and check in with when I can. A common complaint I see from the writers is that they get no traffic. Of the people complaining of no traffic, maybe about half of them truly get no visitors. The rest? Check out their comments fields. 20, 30, 40 or more people leaving comments and responding. Last time I checked that was indeed successful traffic.

Now there are certainly ways to increase traffic via links and RSS feeds. Posting interesting content doesn't hurt either. I an also highly recommend doing a link exchange with Attu. When I was on his blogroll I got a good 100 more hits per day than I do now. No idea why I'm off the list now, but who cares, right?

I'm coming to the conclusion that the only real way to get traffic is to comment relentlessly at other blogs. People take their blogs very seriously and view it as a personal insult if you don't feel compelled to comment. Apparently it is not enough to merely read the blog and register your cookie within their temporary folder.

I am notoriously bad at commenting elsewhere, which may explain why I have about 15 to 20 regular visitors here a day and maybe 6 of those folks leave comments. Of course, I am GRATEFUL anD THANKFUL for all the readers I've had this past year. I'm just noticing trends and the like, creating theories, etc..

Perhaps I'll mount a campaign where I spend a day leaving comments at every single blog on my links list and see what happens from there. Could be a fascinating waste of time, if not a great distraction from cleaning the apartment. Lord knows I have no pressing social engagement to go to today.