Random Notes

It could be a very, VERY long time before I see another movie as beautiful, hysterical, and well made as "Kung Fu Hustle". Were I an Academy member it would be easy for me to come up with three of the five best films of the year. The first two you must be aware of by now. "Kung Fu Hustle" is the third on the list.

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Something I hate so much about rock concerts can be best summarized in a little scene I've written for you.

[BAND LEAVES STAGE. CROWD CHEERS.]

ANDY: Oh no! The band has left the stage and they still haven't played my favorite of their tunes. How disturbing. This makes me sad. With so many people in this arena, how will the band ever know how desperately I want to hear more from them. If ONLY there were some way I could signal the band and alert them to my dilemma. WAIT! Perhaps if I cheer with vigor and encourage others to do the same they might return.

[ANDY ENTHUSIASTIC CLAPPING AND "WOO-HOOING"]

ANDY: It doesn't seem to be working. Ah well. It is my fault for not expressing my love for the band more while they were on stage. They are probably on a plane heading back to England, Peoria, or some other exotic location right now. I COULD try one last thing. I will light my cigarette lighter and wave it above my head WHILE cheering. Surely even a rock band cannot resist the flicker of my lighter, the smell of the butane, and my constant cheering.

[ANDY BEGINS WAVING LIT CIGARETTE LIGHTER AND CHEERING. SOON OTHERS JOIN IN.]

ANDY: Oh Look! The amassed crowd has joined me in my efforts to entice the band back to the stage. This must work. IT HAS TO WORK!

[BAND RE-EMERGES. CROWD CHEERS. BAND PLAYS "Pour Some Sugar On Me" AND PROMPTLY EXITS.]

ANDY: WHEW! That was refreshing. I am completely sated now. I couldn't hear one more rock song if my life depended upon it. Thank God I remembered my trusty lighter.

[SCENE]

Encores are supposed to be surprises to the band. You are supposed to play your best show and rock the adoring fans so hard, they are compelled to demand more, wishing the show would never end. Don't play the stupid game. If you haven't played your big hit, we know you're coming back IF we happen to scream loud enough. It is bullshit. Our large quantities of cash spent on tickets, food, and over-priced merchandise should be enough to prove to you how much we love you. Now play the fucking song so I can wait in the parking lot for an hour.

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Bob Denver died on Friday. Hard to believe he's gone. The last surviving cast members from "Gilligan's Island" are... (HIT IT, BOYS!) "The movie star, The Professor and Mary Ann..."

For you old-timers, the last surviving cast members are..."The movie star, and THE REST!"

;)