I Hate Being Made to Look Foolish

I'll continue with Birthday Week Stories later. First, I gotta vent a bit about something that happened tonight. Long post. Sorry.

Earlier in the day the next door neighbors, quite actually the folks in the apartment immediately to my left, were banging and pounding on the doors and walls so much that at one point I thought they were trying to break through my front door. When I went out to see what the hell was going on I heard lots and lots of yelling and arguing from the apartment. I assume they were arguing. I don't speak Spanish, but I do speak hostility.

HOURS later, the incessant banging and noises are continuing and shaking the walls, bowing my door, and generally causing a lot of unnecessary tension around here. Once again I stormed out to see what the hell was going on. This time I found the door to the neighboring apartment was CLEARLY broken. The door jam was cracked and the molding around the door was falling off the wall.

I rarely do much about these sorts of things as experience has taught me that I'll end up being the one to get shit upon later, but I called the police.

I described the noises, the banging, and the now broken door. I did over-emphasize how broken the door was, but I did try to clarify to the 911 attendant about the actual status of the thing. I gave my name and address and all the pertinent info. I even described, in detail, which apartment the disturbance was coming from. I did not say I thought it came from some where, I told them this WAS where it was coming from. I even told the guy that it is the only apartment NEXT TO my apartment, #207. I'd forgotten that the numbers here went even on one side and odd on the other, but things like "the broken door immediately next to my apartment" should be enough to get the officers to know who to call upon. It wasn't.

They knocked on the door of the apartment ACROSS FROM mine, only to find a peaceful and confused non-English-speaking family, which made the officers mad enough to bang on my door wanting to know what the hell was up.

I had to explain to the that, yes, I was the person who called 911 and that there was in fact many banging sounds, yelling sounds, and damage done to the apartment next to in. I had to explain this to them because in the time it took for the cops to get to my building the folks next door slipped the molding and the door jam back into their holes and shut the door, making everything appear, at a glance, to be fine.

The officer even sarcastically asked me to explain which apartment I "thought" the disturbance came from and went on to joke about how the door looked great. "I've seen much worse carpentry before." What a condescending bitch!

I had to go on and on explaining all the crap that had been going on all damn day and I doubt she ever thought I was serious. Another tenant came out of her apartment (she was NEXT TO the already upset person ACROSS FROM my apartment (you know...next to the place they mistakenly called upon first). Thankfully, this person came out and immediately asked if they were there because of all the banging and screaming going on, which helped me a little.

The officers wanted to know where we both "thought" the sounds were coming from and were kind enough to tell the other tenant, "Well HE called us and SHE (the gal in the first apartment they WEREN'T supposed to talk to) is just fine." Great. Tell the whole fucking world I'm the guy with the quick 911-dialing finger. I'm sure that won't incur any wrath from the folks breaking their fucking doors at will.

Now I would have assumed, given that there were only FOUR apartments in this vicinity of the alleged disturbance, that MAYBE the guy calling the police, the "fine" neighbor, and the other tenant complaining about banging and screaming wouldn't have to tell the PROFESSIONAL CRIME FIGHTERS which door to actually knock on, but indeed we did have to point to the apartment NEXT TO mine. One of the THREE officers in attendance suggested, "Why don't we knock?" GENIUS!

Of course, no knocking occurred. First we had to answer questions about what we "thought" we heard, where we "thought" we heard it, and if we knew who lived in the apartment NEXT TO mine. Basically I told them I don't know any of my neighbors that well. I didn't tell them it had something to do with the fact that I don't speak Spanish and they don't speak English. That would have confused things. The other tenant, one who does speak both Spanish and English fluently, told them that all she knows is that there are a lot of people coming and going in and out of that apartment every day. THAT was apparently the thing that caused our heroes to SPRING into action.

The officers snidely thanked us for "all our help" and proceeded to very politely knock on the seemingly UNBROKEN door. I'd already gone back in my apartment and contemplated busting a door myself just so they could see one for comparison's sake. I can only assume that upon knocking they may have seen the molding and door jam move or something because they knocked again, this time a little less politely. When nobody answered they banged the ever-living shit out of the door, which I found a bit ironic, seeing as how banging on doors and such is what started this mess.

I guess somebody answered after that because I heard the officer talk to someone asking questions about what happened here and so on. The tone was bit sarcastic which I liked, but it didn't sound like anything was being resolved and nobody was being reprimanded for property damage, disturbing the peace, or at the very least, causing three officers to waste their time talking to everyone BUT the people causing the problems for so damned long.

I have no idea what the outcome of the situation was, other than the fact that I ended up looking like a lying, foolish asshole. Oh wait, I forgot, I also looked like a total NARC to most of my floor, including the folks who live NEXT TO me and apparently didn't have any real explaining to do to anyone tonight. So now I fully expect to get robbed, have my car fucked with, and even more Spanish insults towards me and cat-calls towards my wife. She's already afraid that they'll break in (they are proficient at fucking up the doors around here) and harm her cat, Phil. Ya-fucking-Hoo.

Thanks, Carol Stream Police. Thanks, illegal alien neighbors with the hatred for doors, walls, and apparently your many hoochie girlfriends that talk back to you at inopportune times. Thanks to all the people out there who raised me to try and do the right thing once in awhile to protect my home and family. Thanks a million.

I should have remembered that there's absolutely no good that can come from calling the authorities if you're in trouble.

When I was very young, two neighbor kids SET FIRE to one of the barns on our property. Naturally we called the fire department and the police. Yes the kids had something of a criminal record locally, but nothing ever happened to them. WHO do you think got harassing phone calls, threats of violence, daily screams of "FUCKERS" from cars driving by, and regular random acts of vandalism for almost TEN YEARS afterwards? Yep, it was US who got all the shit from THEM. We never held a grudge or threatened anyone. We just had an annoying habit of NOT wanting someone to commit ARSON on our property without permission, but somehow we had to deal with years of crap. Oddly, nobody ever did a thing to discipline the folks with the mild criminal record.

That should have served as a fine example of why calling the police doesn't really help, unless you've got a knife in your head at the time.

I should fucking start looking for a new apartment now.