Be Stallone in Bed

I normally don't send, post, or even respond to SPAM. However, when you get something with a subject line as oddly intriguing as, "Be Stallone in Bed" from someone named, "Latoya Short", I have to at least look, right?

Here's the e-mail in it's entirety.


Date:Thu, 26 May 2005 01:33:54 +0400
From: "Latoya Short" cbipozsggy@bellsouth.net
Subject: Be Stallone in Bed
To: andy@andymartello.com

You came this far , you will regret
if you don't visit this link
http://Short.untyred.net/?897

go here for removal
http://Latoya.visagraph.net/rm.php?897
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I know this all must be some GREAT product to increase the size of my manhood, or the amount of baby-batter coming out of my manhood (or both), but why is the subject, "Be Stallone in Bed"? I'm decent looking. I'm married. I know I'm at the very least, "A Contender".

I'm used to misspellings in the subject lines of SPAM e-mails. That's one of the ways these folks get around SPAM-blockers. But does "Latoya" really want me to become Sylvester Stallone or did she mean to say "Stallion". She did capitalize all of the first letters in the main words so I can't determine if "Stallone" should be "Stallion" or not.

MY GOD! What if it is supposed to mean Frank Stallone? Is that better or worse?

Either way, I'm not aware of either Stallone being all that well-endowed or even all that vibrant in the sack. Sure, Sly has had his share of hottie wives (I believe he's on his 47th wife this year. ), but surely that has more to do with the gozillion dollars he's made in Hollywood and not his mammoth sausage, his out-of-control fire hose, and his legendary ringside stamina.

I never hear about Frank Stallone and his sexual prowess or conquests, or...at all! I'm the only one in living memory to even mention his name so often, so what does that say about me?

Besides, I'm of about as much Italian decent as either Stallone and I know for a fact that we ALL get laid because of our winning personalities or our mob ties. Our manhood has...uh..."little" to do with it at all.

So, "Latoya Short", I demand an explanation here! You didn't even get the date right in your e-mail! Zeesh!

UPDATE! 12:25 AM 5/26/2005

I just received the same e-mail, this time from "Sheryl Butler". The subject line? "Lozenges for Schwarzenegger" The plot thickens!