Why Can't I Get "Tagged" By a Couple of Hot Chicks?

I've been tagged by Doyle, to play along in another one of these silly memes. I don't quite understand the purpose of these things because nobody actually does them the way you're supposed to.

You are supposed to answer the questions and e-mail the people you're tagging to answer the questions next, so they know they've been included in the darned game. You should also name people from blogs not on your list of friends in order to encourage readership among other blogs.

I mean, the only reason I know I was brought into this is because I read Doyle's blog every day and found my name listed. Had I not checked his blog I'd be unaware I was breaking the chain (OH! The HORROR!) I've seen this meme on the blog of just about everyone else I read every day, telling me that the same 15 or 16 people are sending the darned thing along to each other. This creates a cycle where I read the same blogs I would have read every day in the first place. ZEESH!

Anyway I have to choose 5 of these sentences and complete them in a clever way, then pass the thing along to three other poor saps. Here are the questions I have to choose from. I'll just add my answer onto the end of the sentences I chose in order to save time,

Choose your poison…

If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…

If I could be a doctor…I probably STILL couldn't afford health insurance.

If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…

If I could be a linguist…I'd be a cunning one!

If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…

If I could be an inn-keeper…I'd probably hire Tom Poston as my handyman, and Julia Duffy as my maid.

If I could be a professor…

If I could be a writer…I wouldn't have to set my face on fire for money anymore.

If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…

If I could be married to any current famous political figure…let's say...Ann Coulter, with or without permission, I'd pull her hair & fuck her in the ass every night for the rest of her life, just so I could watch her make speeches about morality, family values, and the like. Then I'd have the mental image of her taking my cock in her ass and screaming, "I'm a dirty little whore! Fuck my ass, you monster!" and I'd L-A-U-G-H!

Now, to pass this on and ruin someone else's day. I will stick with people on my friends list to keep things similar to everyone else. However I will pick people who probably won't answer and I'll not e-mail them knowing this will likely kill the meme. Someone has to put a stop to the insanity! I will pass this on to...

60 Cent (Handy Randy) because I am sure he doesn't read my blog much any more. If he does, at least I know he'll swear a lot and make it interesting.

Frank Stokes because he reads this blog even less than Handy Randy, if at all. If he does read this and chooses to answer I'm sure he will be funny.

Heidi Miller because she recently stopped by to say HI and she might stop by again. Regardless, I know her real answers would give me a boner, but I also know we'll never get to read them because she's got a great clean and corporate image to uphold.