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Monday, April 04, 2005

Since I Can't Post Pictures (for now)

Hello seems to be all snarky right now, so the posts I've been wanting to make for a couple of days will have to wait.

I was just watching 61* on HBO and I was reminded of something I saw a few weeks back that pissed me off.

Like most all red-blooded American men, I love the film, The Natural. It makes me cry like a manly baby every time I see it. I get all reminiscent for days gone by. I yearn for the green grass of the baseball fields to come alive once again. I wish I had the $175.00 for an authentic New York Knights flannel jersey in XXL (Birthday present, anyone? LOL!)

While I've grown rather spoiled with regard to watching movies commercial-free, I will watch my favorites with commercials if they're on the set. The Natural was on and I was OFFENDED to no end by what I saw.

This film was being shown on the Women's Entertainment Network, WE. This film has NO PLACE ON THAT NETWORK! Yes, I fully acknowledge that baseball is loved and enjoyed by many women across the world. My sister is among the biggest baseball fans on Earth. Jessica is also quite the baseball gal. That being said, this fine film, a film that is every bit a "guy flick" has absolutely no place on that network any more than The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood has on Spike TV.

How can I come to this conclusion? Simple. Women LOVE to torture us men for liking that film, the same way we make fun of them for liking Terms of Endearment, Beaches, just about ANY movie that has Olympia Dukakis in it, etc. You pick on us for The Natural, Field of Dreams, and sometimes Bull Durham. You seem to let Bull Durham have a pass in most cases because you want to fuck Kevin Costner, but I know it is REALLY because of Susan Sarandon's association with Thelma & Louise that you like.

The Natural should NEVER be interrupted by commercials, MANY commercials for baby formula, feminine hygiene products, maternity clothes, and fucking SATURN cars! Really, I saw one maxi pad commercial where a woman, replete with pads and blue liquid, was slapping herself silly in the grocery store with wet pads to show absorbency. It is degrading to the movie, manhood, and baseball in general.

STOP RUINING OUR MOVIE!

8 Comments:

Blogger BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah said...

LMAO, Andy--haven't you seen the leaky rowboat where the woman whips out a tampon to plug the hole? Priceless, let me tell ya...lol

I'm ignoring the rest, I'm not a froo-froo loving pink, snivelling over chick flix, kinda girl, so I take no offense ;)

1:35 AM

 
Blogger Bud said...

I think you really need to retaliate, Andy. One of those films on Spike with a running commentary by Homer Simpson. Or a whole series of them with a rotating lineup of real guy commentators. I'll let you pitch that to the network. I'm too busy waterproofing my home with tampons.

4:55 AM

 
Anonymous Kim said...

Okay, the blue liquid? You and I are in sync today! ROFL

9:01 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice rant, dear! Goodly doses of righteous indignation. I had no idea "The Natural" was supposed to be a guy flick. Or "Bull Durham," for that matter. But the one thing that I DO take offense at is that Kevin Costner is the hottie in that one. Seriously, I can take him or leave him. But Susan Sarandon? YUM.

9:11 AM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

I remember the boat commercial. That one was actually much less offensive to me than most.

My wife contends that any product that you would HAVE to buy anyway needs no advertising and in most cases I tend to agree. Thing is, the boat commercial made guys want to go out amd try that!

Susan Sarandon is the ultimate hottie. She's eternal! No arguements there. I just know that so many ladies got all moist becaus ethey liked the idea of an older seasoned man who could give rousing speeches about subtle curves and unhook a garter belt with one hand. To that I say, Ron Jeremy can do all that but you don't get all squishy for him! Besides, a good juggler can do all that as well. LOL!

Kim...dunno what to say. Odd that your post today is so "similar" in content. LMAO!

Bud, you're on to something. Let me know how the waterproofing turns out.

10:46 AM

 
Blogger 3rd Times a Charm said...

LMAO! I love a good rant! And this was one of the best I've read in ages.

Thanks for the laughs. :-)

10:46 AM

 
Blogger Becky said...

Dude.....by the DVD and that will settle all your issues.

I think it's on WE because of Robert Redford b/c he was, and always will be (at least in his prime) the ultimate ladies man.

12:07 PM

 
Blogger Andy Land said...

Oh Becky, you just don't get it.

I have the DVD. I will watch that movie on my own AND when it is on TV, that's how important a movie this is to me and all of manly manhood.

KNOWING it is being shown on WE after some Oprah-made crappy movie based on an even worse Maya Angelou book or something will not be made right by the mere owning of the DVD for personal use.

If you heard of some awful atrocity being committed in some beautiful far away land you wouldn't want me to tell you to buy the post card and it will all be better. Well, maybe you would.

LOL!

1:58 PM

 

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