Random Celebrity Memories! Vol. One: Audrey Hepburn

To accompany my last post I'll throw in my first installment of...

Random Celebrity Memories!

These are stories about celebrity encounters that have no autographs or photos to back up the story. I completely understand if you want to throw a flag on the play because you believe the "Bullshit Meter" is flashing red. I assure you, the stories are all true. I doubt you'll need to worry about the veracity of the stories as they are quite unspectacular in every respect. However, not having any "proof" to back up the story, feel free to call me a liar.

Many years ago, I'm thinking around 1988 or 1989, I had a gig at the historic Palmer House Hotel in Chicago. This was one of my earliest "strolling gigs", where I was to wander through the party and juggle for people at their tables, while they were standing in line at the bar, etc.

The theme was something lame like Parisian Nights, and all of the performers had to dress like French mimes and "artistes". It was lame. I liked the paycheck and at this point I'd never been to the Palmer House, so I was excited nonetheless.

The event was a large fundraiser for UNICEF and the guest of honor was the most beautiful and extremely generous , Audrey Hepburn. There were many celebrities in attendance, but you simply don't trump Miss Hepburn, even if the music that night was provided by Buster Poindexter.

I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't get to officially meet her. We never shook hands, I never got an autograph, nor did we share much meaningful conversation. We did have a few words which I'll share in a moment. I can say that the times I was within "spitting distance" to her, she was not only beautiful, but she smelled lovely.

Most of the night was spent doing my job for all the party guests. I was seen on a few local news stations juggling in the background. I did get into a few photo opps and I was a good performer.

There were a few moments where I did get to watch Hepburn do her thing, dazzling the crowd with her grace and beauty. We passed each other on several occasions and at one point there was a big group photo involving all of the strolling performers and Miss Hepburn. SOMEWHERE in the world there is a photo or two of me and about 6 other jugglers, in French mime costumes, with Audrey Hepburn in the middle of the group. If anyone out there has a copy please send it along.

At the end of our photo session I got to have my "moment" with her. Not wanting to fawn all over her like so many others were that night, and not being one to get too squishy-giddy around celebrities, I didn't even introduce myself. I simply said something to her as she said her good-byes and walked passed me, something designed to be silly but memorable & somewhat reverent.

"Miss Hepburn, you're one classy broad."

She stopped, looked back at me, smiled her famous smile and replied,

"Darling, you have no idea!"

And then, she walked away, full of grace and beauty. I thought she was one amazing person before, but now I knew she really was damned cool.