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Sunday, March 06, 2005

FINALLY! Two Causes I Can Support!

I absolutely loathe those stupid ribbon magnets festooning so many cars on the road these days. They are pathetic attempts to ease one's troubled mind and do something without actually doing anything.

If you have one of those magnets on your car for ANY reason or cause, I mock you. I don't care if you actually have a family member in Iraq, are a breast cancer survivor, wear argyle fucking socks, they're stupid eyesores and you're pathetic for buying one.
If you want to support the troops, then get YOUR President to stop sending them into harm's way and START giving the heroes of our country the benefits they deserve when they come home. A stupid magnet (Made in China) will not do a damned thing!

They are even more annoying than the stickers boasting about your supposed honor roll student. These ridiculous magnets are the "Baby on Board" signs of this generation and they need to GO!

Luckily my friend Kellie sent me an e-mail about a guy who hates them as much as I do and I am here to support his cause. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the AntiMagnet website!

Fan-fucking-tastic! I wish I'd have thought of it. Well actually I did have an idea I sent to the guys at Fu-Qtoo where the shirt would feature a drawing of a ribbon that read, "Save the Ribbons" but nothing ever came of that. Anyway, check out this guy's very funny site and be sure to link up and help support his cause. If you don't then you're simply unAmerican!

Moving on...

Anyone who has read my so-called writing (both of you) will know that I get my undies in a bunch at all of the holidays that basically cater to women. I've written many a piece about Valentine's Day and one helluva great work about Father's Day (which is really a holiday for women). Well, someone else feels the same way I do and has come up with a holiday that REALLY is for men. What man would refuse Steak & BJ Day?

Yes, I'll send you to that site, but do I really need to explain this one? It is quite simple. On March 14th of EVERY YEAR FOR ALL TIME GODDAMMIT the overly-catered woman will treat their hard-working and clearly under-appreciated man to a steak dinner and a start-to-finish blow job. No questions. No cards. NO HEADACHES! Head on over to the site to learn more.

I, of course, will not get to enjoy Steak & BJ Day. I can pretty much expect that I'll see a Cubs World Series victory sooner. Ahhh marriage. Is there anything it can't ruin?


Blogger Becky said...

I thought I just checked your blog and it wasn't updated and then suddenly I'm about five posts behind. I must share that my nickname in high school was BJ b/c I'm Becky Jane. When my girlfriends used it in front of our guy friends, we quickly found out it wasn't the best choice, though the guys really loved it. Like it somehow meant they were going to get one?

11:01 PM

Blogger Andy Land said...

Nooooo, we all HOPED we'd get one from a girl named BJ.

See, most nicknames start because of something you do, or something that happened to you, or something you're good at. Rarely do people think nicknames come from initials or someone's actual name.

A guy who ran well in track could be nicknamed, "Speedy".

Someone who used to flash people in college could be called "Flash"

A guy meets a girl named BJ and we have no choice but to assume you do one thing quite well: play Blackjack.


11:11 PM

Blogger marjo moore said...

No comments enabled on the bottom post...? Blog's not done yet, I don't think. But hopefully, it looks more interesting.
Three feet tall, horned, with warts- we must've passed by on the street at some point! ;P

as for bumper sticker/magnets-- yikes, i'll probably go to hell now. in honor of the upcoming holiday: "Easter's cancelled this year. They found the body."

3:51 AM

Blogger Bud said...

I truly hate bumber stickers. The only one I'd ever consider is one that says, "Please Do Not Try To Save My Soul."

4:00 AM

Blogger Jessica Hart said...

I agree, all bumper stickers and magnets are tacky.

Steak and BJ day, very cute, but I think my man should enjoy that holiday without it being marked on the calandar. He likes his filet mignon medium rare w/a baked potato w/sour cream and butter and salad. I think it would be fun to serve him naked and try sucking and licking while my lover chews.

Thanks for the sweet words about my blog. I'll email you some photos, if you promise to keep them to yourself. And, I have a webcam, too. I'd be glad to wave to you on yahoo messenger, so you can see that I look the same as my webcam pics. I'll email you my yahoo screen name with the photos.
Afterwards, I want a retraction of your final statement. ;-)

5:39 AM

Blogger Andy Land said...

I've never really had a problem with bumper stickers, except ones that were truly unfunny or ones supporting a political candidate. If I saw Marjo's bumper sticker I'd laugh my fool head off and be happy with her 3 ft tall warty self. LOL!

I will admit that the one's about your honor roll student, hugging your kids today, or any useless social or bragging message I can't stand.

I've always felt that your bumper sticker had better A) make me laugh B) promote your band C) Encourage you to escape to Wisconsin

My mother just reminded me of those even more useless plastic bracelets. I suppose those will be next on my shit list.

7:29 AM

Anonymous ~~Kellie said...

Andy, while throwing out there, you must give Jay Barnes credit for, too.

Last Friday afternoon, Matt (co-worker) and I were cracking up so hard, we could not answer our phones without the caller making those cliché comments like "Sounds like you're having a good time over there, maybe I should come on over."

Ask Aziz, he knows. And Jay Barnes. And Horse Hate.

10:39 AM

Blogger Andy Land said...

Looks like you just did all that. :)

I dunno nothing about those other sites nor Jay Barnes...nor Aziz for that matter, but I'll check em out.

WOO-HOO! Kellie's here!

10:47 AM

Blogger golfwidow said...

I had this [] up as a BlogExplosion banner, but no one clicked on it so I retired it.

6:59 PM


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