Look At All the Pretty Buttons!

To think how happy I was when I found out the folks at Malicious Bitch had made a banner promoting my little crap column is just silly now that I have my very own BLOG BUTTON!

OK, I realize that I am easily impressed and that it doesn't take much to amuse me, but to have my own button that people can steal and use when linking to my kick-ass blog, well now I've made it in the world! Just look at this baby!

(Button Shown Not Actual Size)

And that's not all! You can steal some buttons for some of the web's OTHER great blogs. Hmmm...I wonder if the HTML Gods can show them to you...

(Buttons Shown Actual Size Because I'm Insecure & Petty)

Now all I need is someone to take some Fan Signs for me and post them on their own blogs or send them my way! Check out these killer shots that Naomi took for BabesAddict.com. GODDAMMIT I need fans! The pictures are even better on the Fu-Qtoo blog. They seemed to notice the exposed nipple and decided to exploit it's nipply goodness a little better. Oh Yeah!

Of course, I don't expect any of my fans to get quite as naughty or suggestive with their fan signs, but it is encouraged nonetheless! Why should you take a snapshot of yourself holding a fan sign? Because I'll send you a present!

Yep, take a snapshot of you holding an Andy Martello fan sign and send it to me and I'll send you an Andy Martello collector's trading card!

Post the shots at your own blog along with a link and I'll send you a CD of some of my favorite versions of Louie Louie. Think of it. TWENTY FIVE different versions of the world's most useless song all for yourself (CD is for Archival and Novelty Purposes only and is NOT to be SOLD! I've got enough problems without some angry musicians and their lawyers on my ass!).

Now...Post photos of Andy Fan signs that feature penguins or hotties in naughty poses (or better yet, penguins AND hotties in naughty poses) and I'll send you your very own Flying Penguini Juggling Kit! Who doesn't want to learn how to juggle by using their very own penguin-shaped beanbags? Hotties need not be ladies...But I'd sure appreciate it if they were! Heck, you probably don't even need to be a hottie. Just naughty will suffice. ;)

Now there are a few things to realize here.

1. Supplies of the Penguini Kits are VERY limited. So don't get all pissy and litigious on me if I run out. I'll send something else that is very Andy-centric and fun. At the very least you'll get a collector's card. The 2005 cards should be out shortly and that will be big silly fun. I burn the CDs myself and those are always a good time!
2. You also have to send me your mailing address! Otherwise I can send you neither Jack nor shit!
3. Also understand that I'm not made of cash! So please, one item per customer. If you want to upgrade and take better or naughtier shots later I'm sure we can work something out.
4. If you post pics to your own website or blog, keep them up for at least a month so I can reap the benefits of a little extra traffic. Of course, you can keep them up forever if you'd like. Lord knows I'll be keeping them up here for a long time.
5. Lastly, this is all based upon availability of supplies and goodies as well as my own amount of time to dedicate to this nonsense. I'd love to make this a lifetime thing, but who knows how long I'll be writing or performing, much less blogging. I guess I'm saying I can send out whatever I want to whomever I want or send nothing at all. But for now...When the toys run out or I'm so sick of this crap that I can't see straight anymore...GAME OVER!